


When Plans Go Awry

by keyxkeeperx



Category: Beetlejuice (1988)
Genre: Angst, Friendship, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-29
Updated: 2020-05-28
Packaged: 2021-01-08 00:54:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 38,973
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21227102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/keyxkeeperx/pseuds/keyxkeeperx
Summary: Beetlejuice knows what he needs to do in order to gain his freedom, but "When Plans Go Awry", he finds himself going completely off script! The Maitlands aren't haunting their house like they were supposed to, but another death is scheduled in a few months, so it's only a matter of time. Until then, B.J. can just study and harass the Deetz family. Surely they won't give him any problems.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone! Thank you for giving my newest fic a read through! I dont know yet exactly how many chapters will be devoted to this story, but I know it'll reach ten chapters minimum. Only one chapter will be posted at the end of each month, but there will be opportunities to see newer chapters sooner! Stay tuned for more information!

Sometimes things just don't go according to plan. Life is like that. Death too. But breathers aren't really supposed to know that.

But that's ok. Beetlejuice is used to doing things on the fly. As a matter of fact, pretty much everything he's ever done has been improvised. So when Adam and Barbara Maitland die and fail to haunt their own home, Beetlejuice is annoyed, but he'll live. Figuratively.

Besides, days later, he gets some intel that another death is scheduled in the Maitland's house in a few months time. So all he has to do is wait. That's fine. He's used to waiting. What's another few months to a dead guy?

Plus, now he can properly study his victims. Learn about their fears and triggers. Their kinks and weird habits. The good stuff, you know?

Beetlejuice watches from inside a boring old painting on the wall, hidden amongst the linear brush strokes, when the new tenants come rampaging in. They're boisterous, tedious, and above all else, an easy read. Maybe too easy. But hey, not every victim needs to be a hard nut to crack.

First there's Charles Deetzes. Anxious, exhausted, struggling, and possibly a bit of a pushover. So long as Beetlejuice lays on just enough stress, the man could easily break. Give him a heart attack. Simple.

Not even ten minutes in the house, Charles sits down in a rocking chair and begins to bounce his leg like a maniac.

"Not even ten minutes in, and I'm already relaxed." You're not fooling anybody. What a loser.

Next, there's Delia Deetz, the red headed ditz herself. She might make a good lay, but Beetlejuice is more interested in the fact that she seems like quite the screamer. He knows it for a fact when he hears her shouting in Adam’s old study.

"If you don't let me gut out this house and make it my own, I will go insane, and I will take you with me!" Classic. What a great line to show her true colors.

Hideous and selfish with zero taste and tact. Just like Beetlejuice. He's sure he could terrorize her with her own statues too. Maybe crush her skull with her own clawed seat looking piece of trash. Such a snore.

Otho and Delia go on a rampage to redecorate the house, and Beetlejuice isn't sad to see them go. Instead, his attention is focused on a large black chair with an odd lump. The lump’s name is Lydia apparently. When the moving men put it down, the small girl gets up and observes a black spider hiding in the webbing along the bannister. She snaps a photo of it quickly.

"I could live here." She states mostly to herself. Charles and Delia barely give her a second thought before they leave to explore their new home.

Beetlejuice smirks and watches the goth girl as she begins to explore the house on her own. Lydia’s face is impassive when her father looks at her. Unimpressed when Otho and Delia neglect to acknowledge her once they start spray painting walls. And a very quiet type of sad as soon as she thinks she's alone.

She's not though. Beetlejuice makes the jump into the attic as soon as he realizes that she's heading up there. He sits beneath a tree on Adam's model and watches her as she approaches the display. She quickly finds her new home in the model and pinpoints the closest buildings in relation to where she stands in the house. Lydia goes to the nearest window and looks out.

"Cool," she turns back towards the model with a small smile. "I wonder if they made it from scratch."

Beetlejuice scoffs. He spent months watching the idiot, Adam, touch up his precious model. There's no doubt he wasted his time making it from the bottom up. Literally.

Beetlejuice watches Lydia as she investigates the dusty attic. She takes some photos of the model and even snaps a few pictures of the spider webs hanging from the ceiling before a raucous set of footsteps come roaring up the stairs. Lydia stops and puts on her best blank face for Delia and Otho.

"I want the attic." She states as loudly as possible without yelling over the excited duo. She stands between Delia and a wall before the woman can spray it. "I like the view up here. You can have the basement." She clarifies quickly.

Delia puts her hand on her hips and sighs heavily as she looks around. Her brows furrow as she inspects the room.

"Well, I guess it's an improvement from the basement." Delia says snappishly. "Your dark room will have to be up here too."

"That's fine." Lydia said quietly. She sounds almost relieved, but Delia gives her a sharp look. One that implies she doesn't believe Lydia.

"Ok, but if it doesnt turn out how you want it, don't come complaining to me." She turns sharply. "We'll take care of the attic and your dark room after we finish the rest of the house. Now come along and get your stuff. The movers won't do everything for you."

Out of the new inhabitants, Beetlejuice thinks he likes 'Edgar Allan Poe's Daughter' the most. She's got books on ghosts, monsters, horror stories, reams of 'spooky photos' and collages. Things that he can hide in while he spies on her. The rest of the house doesn't really contain many photos or paintings that he can hang out in. Mirrors are fun and all, but small metallic reflective surfaces give him headaches.

Beetlejuice watches Lydia unpack a few photo frames containing numerous pictures of a woman he doesn't know. Once Lydia walks away from them to answer to the call of 'dinner', he poofs into the photo to get a good look at the woman. She looks like an older version of 'Quoth the Raven', but a smaller, younger Lydia stands in the photo with the woman.

He compares Lydia to Delia and realizes that while they may both be similar types of quirky, they're definitely not blood related. So the biggest question now is, is the old mom dead, or divorced.

…..

And when can he bang her?

Days go by, Lydia makes a temporary dark room to work on some photos in. After a few weeks, a proper one is built in that space instead. Lydia hangs up the finished pieces on a make-shift wall mount until she can decide what to do with them. Beetlejuice sees spider webs, cool lighting effects, and a memorial for Adam and Barbara Maitland, but he really wants to know when Lydia will get into selfies. And more importantly, nudes.

Oh! What if that's how Charles gets a heart attack? HILARIOUS!

With each passing day, Beetlejuice comes up with plans on how to scare each Ditzy Deetzes. He makes plans for how to handle each of them, how best to manipulate them, and how to fuck with each one with his currently limited power.

Charles Deetzes is the easiest. He’s so stressed out as is, and his lame ass attempt at being ‘relaxed’ is only serving to stress him out further. Beetlejuice watches him sit around the office, day in and day out. He spends his ‘alone time’ looking over the books Adam and Barbara left behind. Uses the binoculars to spy on the surrounding town. Do research on the value of houses around his own and draws up plans.

‘Former real estate agent’ his ass. Charles doesn’t know the meaning of relaxing unless he’s fucking Delia. Even that might be too much for him.

“Dad,” Lydia calls from the doorway one day. Charles is taking notes on some documents and doesn’t seem to hear her. “Dad.” She calls louder.

“What is it honey? Daddy’s a little busy right now.” Charles doesn’t see the frown on Lydia’s face. But Beetlejuice does.

“Dad you’re supposed to be relaxing. Not working. Don’t you remember what the doctor said?” Lydia tacks on the last part hesitantly.

“I’m alright, Lyd.” Charles still doesn’t look up to acknowledge Lydia. “I’m supposed to worry about you, not the other way around.” He finally looks up at Lydia for a moment, but quickly diverts to search for a different document. “Now why don’t you go out and get some nice pictures? Make friends with the neighbors or something. Maybe go see a movie with a friend.”

“Our closest neighbors are like eighty.” Lydia mumbles and quietly leaves.

Beetlejuice almost felt like following her, but hidden tears of a lonely pre-teen were never his thing. Plus, right now he’s working too. Working out how exactly Charles Deetzes is going to die. If he’s the one who’s supposed to die, that is. His informant neglected to pass out that kind of information.

But that’s fine. Beetlejuice has more than enough time to consider the chances of Charles dying vs Delia. He’s still got some time to kill. Beetlejuice would like to speed things up, but he can only do so much.

Right now, Beetlejuice can only do small stuff. Since most of his powers have been tied to his name, and limited to the world of the dead, he can’t really affect much. But he can cause sudden small breezes, cold spots, heightened levels of paranoia. Minor poltergeist things really. It takes a lot of time and effort to move physical objects, especially large heavy ones, so he can’t exactly slam doors or move chairs. But over the course of a night, he could shuffle photos around, change the angle of Delia’s lighter sculptures, move important documents and notes to other parts of the house.

Being able to write messages would have been cool, but it’s not something he has the power to do.

“Lydia!” Charles shouts one day. He had spent the past thirty minutes looking for his spreadsheets. Yesterday is was a file. The day before that, his pens and pencils. Beetlejuice snickers and follows Charles up to the attic to watch. “Lydia!” He throws open the door.

Lydia nearly jumps in her seat and places a bookmark in the small book before closing it.

“Yes dad?” She asks calmly. She tries to keep her face passive, but Charles’ red furious one is clearly making her nervous.

“I know you’re worried about my health, but you can’t keep hiding my work just because you don’t like it.” He starts out testily. “I’m trying to secure our future and funds, you don’t want to end up living on the streets, do you?”

“Dad, I didn’t touch your stuff.”

“Don’t lie to me!” He snaps. Beetlejuice squirms in excitement when he sees how harshly Charles is breathing. “If you do it again, then I’m grounding you! No photography for a week! This is your only warning.” He storms out and down the stairs and Beetlejuice laughs and claps from his spot in Lydia’s photos.

Sniffles and hiccups interrupt his cheers though, and Beetlejuice quickly stops. He takes one look at Lydia and decides to follow Charles instead. If he focuses on her for too long, he’d start to actually feel bad.

Beetlejuice deduces that Charles might have some heart problems due to stress. If the medicine wasn’t a big enough clue, then the self-appointed but neglected to follow vacation would be the biggest hint. For Charles, it’s only a matter of time before he suffers a real hit. And now that they live far in the country-side, help might not get to him on time.

But now the biggest question is, what would Charles want in order for Beetlejuice to gain his freedom? If he cares enough about his family, then perhaps he’d want help contacting them when he realizes that they can't see him. Delia certainly doesn’t look super caring, nor the type to linger, so Charles would have to act fast just to get her attention. Lydia too, because if Delia leaves, then so does Lydia.

Eventually, Beetlejuice decides to actually study Delia. She’s a self-involved woman wholly devoted to being successful with her statues. What artist isn’t self-involved though? It’s kind of a part of the business really. You have to build yourself up and know exactly how to sell yourself to get the results you want. Beetlejuice does it constantly.

He still remembers Delia’s HILARIOUS declaration, ‘Do you think I want to die like this!?’ from the first day they moved in. He wishes he could have properly seen her pinned to the wall by her own statue. Beetlejuice nearly busts a gut laughing whenever he thinks about it.

There’s no doubt about Delia’s work ethic though. She spends hours graphing out cuts onto paper, sketching designs, working hunched over in a fervour that artists get when they’re REALLY trying to make something work. It’s rough on the back, and he has no doubt that she’s breathing in more than enough chemicals with certain pieces. So when she goes to bed at night with valium, Beetlejuice wonders if there’s a way to overdose on that stuff. Maybe through a harsh day of chemical inhalation, alcohol abuse, and multiple doses of valium, she could die. But it’s significantly more likely that one of her larger statues could fall over and crush her to death.

Either way, it’s certainly not something Beetlejuice could easily facilitate, and accidents are hard to create when you’ve got limited power. But he can mess with her chemicals, paints, timers, papers. Spilled ink. Misplaced pencils and erasers. Documents start getting mixed up between the separate offices.

Charles and Delia begin to argue, and Beetlejuice congratulates himself on a job well done. One day, Lydia leaves a photo with interesting angles that she took while she was in town earlier, and Beetlejuice leaves a mess of chemicals on the floor for Delia to find. He jumps in excitement the moment he realizes that Delia’s found the mess.

“Lydia!” Delia snaps when she finds the photograph and the disaster her office has become. She storms up the stairs and Beetlejuice gets into position fast enough to see Lydia quickly close down her dark room in time for Delia to throw open the attic door.

“Did you find the photo I left for you?” Lydia asked in a bored tone. Delia shoots her an angry glare, with grit teeth and rage bubbling deep inside. Lydia actually flinches.

“And the MESS you made too!” Delia bites back. “I don’t go into your dark room and throw your chemical baths all over the place, and I expect the same from you!”

Lydia’s confusion leaks through her mask of indifference.

“I didn’t touch anything in your office.” She tries to explain herself, but Beetlejuice almost gets a sense of deja vu when Delia cuts her off.

“Don’t lie to me! You’re father and I have been fighting for days, and here I find that it was you messing with our stuff the whole time! You’re not the only one unhappy about our move missy, but we’ve been doing what we can to make the most out of this!” Delia gestured to herself and downstairs. “Don’t think that I won’t be having a word with your father about this, you are grounded!”

Delia turns sharply and storms down the stairs, neglecting to shut the door behind her.

Beetlejuice can hear the old hag’s shouts as she barges into Charle’s office downstairs. He wants to see what kind of shouting match they’ll get into this time, but Lydia’s silent tears have him frozen. Her hands begin to shake, and she seems almost unsure what to do with herself as she begins to breathe heavily. Before she can do anything, Charles screams for Lydia to come downstairs, and unsteadily, she goes.

Beetlejuice stares at the spot she stood previously, and he can’t help but to feel bad. Just because he’s dead and an asshole doesn’t mean that he’s heartless too.

He can hear Lydia yelling downstairs, defending herself. But clearly neither adult listens to her as Charles storms up the stairs to confiscate her favorite camera.

“No! Anything but that! That’s all I have left!” Lydia grabs onto his arm, crying.

“You should have thought about that before you started acting out.” Charles grounds out at her. Delia gently tries to pry Lydia from his arm.

“But that’s mom’s!” Lydia argues.

“Lydia, we will give it back to you once your grounding is over.” Delia tries to speak calmly now, but Lydia is far past caring.

“Shut up! You’re not my mother!”

“I am TIRED of your attitude!” Charles turns sharply on his heel. He shakes a finger at Lydia. “Delia is your mother now, whether you like it or not! I’ve moved on, and you need to as well!”

“You abandoned mom!” Lydia retorts angrily.

“I didn’t abandon Emily!” Charles clutches at his chest painfully and breathes harshly. Lydia and Delia pause in their struggles to watch him, terrified of Charles’ sudden silence. “But sometimes terrible things happen, Lydia, and you can’t just waste your life away obsessing over those things. Over death and ghosts. Emily is gone. She’s in a better place now. And we have to move on as well.”

Charles quietly turns and leaves the attic, camera in hand. Beetlejuice sees the silent tears in the man’s eyes as he leaves. Lydia seems calmer now, but she’s still crying. Delia’s the only one holding back tears right now, the regret is clear on her face, but it’s too late to do anything about it. Delia struggles to find comforting words.

“Let your father calm down, and then maybe we can talk about this in a calm manner.” Delia tries to say.

“Go away.” Lydia growls out. Delia’s about to speak up again when Lydia snaps. “Leave me alone!”

Lydia runs down the stairs to her room and leaves Delia behind. Delia turns to look at all of the photos pinned to the board and then down at Lydia’s work desk. She delicately picks up the framed photo of Charles, Lydia, and Emily smiling happily amongst one another. Beetlejuice decides to leave before he throws up at the sentimentality.

It doesn’t take a psychologist to realize that the family is still struggling with the passing of Emily Deetzes. Especially Lydia. And after a few months of studying everyone, he realizes that while she might be legitimately interested in the ghostier parts of life, right now it’s because she wants to see her mother. The goth clothes themselves aren’t as much of a grab for attention as he originally thought they were. But her self-imposed isolation, silence, and snide remarks definitely are. He almost wonders if she behaves like this at school too once she starts going.

As far as temper tantrums and acting out goes, Lydia is really mellow about it. Instead of lashing out, she just withdraws further each time she's rejected or ignored. Beetlejuice thinks she’d be much more successful if she set the house on fire or seduced an older man, but that’s just his opinion. Each day he spends watching Lydia, he thinks about all the things she SHOULD be doing for attention.

Beetlejuice sits in a photo on Lydia’s vanity and watches while she writes in her diary late one night. He counts out the ways she could get back at her father while she mumbled quietly to herself. The rhythmic scratch of her pencil sounds almost like music, even with the random paused Lydia takes to think, and it lulls him into an eerily calm state very different from his usual ponderings. He takes a drag of his cigarette and sighs heavily.

She could cut her hair real short. Dress like a slut. Join a biker gang. Run away. Redecorate the house with pigs blood. Have a party. Start stealing liquor and drugs from her parent’s secret stash.

But no. None of those options come across to Lydia. He eyes her journal entry and scoffs loudly.

“Seriously? Suicide?” He rolls his eyes. “What a cop-out.”

Beetlejuice takes another drag of his cigarette, a deep one that requires he close his eyes in order to truly appreciate the useless action, and doesn’t realize that Lydia has stopped writing. He doesn’t see her gaze flicker around the room, nor hear the deep breath she takes through her nose. Lydia stands up and goes to check her closet and then peek out her door though, and that DOES gain his attention.

“Holy shit.” He whispers. Lydia comes back to her vanity and hesitantly sits down.

Beetlejuice begins to wonder if she heard him. Then he starts to wonder if she could see him too. He typically hides in small photos and in the corners of mirrors. Whenever he hangs out on the model, it’s more because he feels like relaxing and spending time in his self appointed man-cave. So he’s never really been in a super obvious spot to be seen.

Lydia goes back to writing in her diary, and Beetlejuice takes this moment to jump into the vanity’s mirror. Front and center. Super obvious, hard to miss.

“I hate to break it to you kid, but suicide is not the best way to get daddy’s attention.” He speaks loud and clear for the first time in months. Usually there’s no need to be so boisterous when there’s no one looking, but he has high hopes for Lydia.

Lydia jumps in her seat and accidentally throws her pen. Her eyes race up to the mirror and looks Beetlejuice directly in the eyes. If he had a heart, it’d be racing with excitement right now. Beetlejuice smiles and cackles.

“So you CAN see me!” He pumps a fist. “YES!”

Lydia’s mouth gapes wide, just like her eyes.

“Oh my god! This is so cool! I gotta tell you, I’ve been so BORED!” Beetlejuice starts off quickly. “Haven’t even had so much as a decent fuck since I’ve been here and you guys are hardly exciting enough to bother jerking off to!”

Lydia frowns at him.

“Um, who the heck are you?” She snaps irritatedly at him. Her eyes gloss over the dirt and mold on his rotten flesh. Lydia slams her diary closed and leans back in her chair to glower at him.

“Well, I’m not TECHNICALLY supposed to tell you. But if you can guess it, we can keep it our little secret.” Beetlejuice winks at her.

Originally, Beetlejuice was planning on manipulating a newly-dead into getting a living being to say his same, but since Lydia can see him, he doesn’t need to do any of that anymore!

Lydia quirks an eyebrow.

“Why can’t you just tell me your name?”

“It’s like a rite of passage. A fun game to keep things interesting.”

Lydia snorts.

“Sounds like a shitty hazing ritual if you ask me.”

“Well, I didn’t ask you!” Beetlejuice snaps. “Come on, game time! Show us your charades skills.” He waves his hands. Lydia watches as he holds up two fingers.

“Two words?” She mumbles boredly.

“Yes!” Beetlejuice whoops. “Ok,” he holds up one finger, and then his reflection transforms into a beetle. Lydia wrinkles her nose at the image.

“Beetle?” She asks after a few seconds of studying.

“Yes!” The beetle’s legs flew up before transforming back into Beetlejuice. “Now,” he holds up two fingers and then transformed into orange juice.

“Beetle Orange Juice?”

“No!” Beetlejuice transforms into apple juice, and then grape. “The type! What type of drink?”

“Juice.” Lydia states after watching Beetlejuice transform a few times.

“Yeah! Just that!” He transforms back into his normal shape in the mirror. He waits for Lydia to say his name. She doesn’t say anything. “So put it together now.” He holds his two hands apart and then mimics smashing something together.

“Put what together?” Lydia asks. Beetlejuice growls and rubs his hands through his hair.

“My name, stupid!”

“Oh,” Lydia mouths. “But why did I have to guess your name?”

“Augh!” Beetlejuice cries and shakes his head. “Because reasons! Why are you being so difficult!?”

“Why have you been spying on my family?” Lydia finally asks. “Are you the one whose been messing with my Dad’s stuff? You’re the one that spilled Delia’s chemicals everywhere, aren’t you?”

Beetlejuice can’t believe it. This brat is so much smarter than he took her for.

“So I’ve been haunting your family. Big whoop. I wouldn’t have done all that stuff if I knew you could see me. I was bored to death!”

“You owe me an apology.” Lydia ignores Beetlejuice’s little tirade. Beetlejuice freezes. “It’s your fault that I got grounded.” Beetlejuice frowns and then chews on his cheek for a moment, just barely making eye contact with Lydia.

“If you say my name three times, I can un-ground you.”

Lydia rolls her eyes and sighs heavily.

“So what? Saying your name three times is the magic charm?”

“Yup!” Beetlejuice perks up. He leans forward. “Three times, uninterrupted! You free me from my prison and I can help you with your problems!”

“You’re trapped in a mirror?”

“No,” Beetlejuice pinches at his forehead and rocks on his heels. “I’m trapped in inconvenient places with barely any access to my powers! I’ve been hanging out in the model upstairs. Your photographs too. Did anyone ever tell you that your mother is a HOTTIE and that you look just like her?” He gestures to the small photo frame sitting on her vanity, just to make it clear that he knows Delia isn’t Lydia’s birth mother.

Lydia rolls her eyes again and stands up from her chair.

“Alright, well, it’s bedtime.”

“No! Wait!” Beetlejuice tries to grab her, but he can’t reach outside of the mirror. “Say my name three times and I can tuck you in! Tell you a bedtime story.”

“I’ll think about it.” Lydia grabs an oversized shawl and drapes it over the mirror. Beetlejuice can’t see her anymore, but she can still hear his grumbling tirade from beneath the fabric.

Beetlejuice growls out his frustration and eventually goes back to the model in the attic to throw his own version of a temper tantrum. When he’s finished, he relaxes on a love-seat and chugs down a bottle of whiskey for comfort.

Rarely in death do things ever go according to plan. But that’s ok. Beetlejuice is more than confident that in due time, he’ll have his freedom. The only question now is whether it’ll be Lydia that frees him, or her parent’s untimely death that triggers his official plans.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After months of haunting, Lydia finally meets Beetlejuice. He's gross, he's difficult, and worst of all,  
he might be the most interesting thing Lydia has dealth with in years. It's rather unfortunate that their meeting also coincides with the revelation that Delia is hosting a dinner party in a week.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll be honest with you guys, I'm already in the process of writing chapter six for this story. I was thinking about posting two chapters a month instead, but I think I will wait until I have at least ten patrons on patreon before I do that to myself. It's a lot of work to keep up with, and having a chapter per month is easier to contend with consistently.

“Don’t lie to me! If you do it again, I’m grounding you!”

“I don’t go into your dark room and throw your chemical baths all over the place, and I expect the same from you!”

“You abandoned mom!”

Lydia sighed heavily and closed her book. The past few years hadn’t exactly been easy, but now Lydia felt as though she was truly trapped in a nightmare. New school, no friends, no camera, no reason to do pretty much anything.

Charles and Lydia didn’t exactly care to pay Lydia’s feelings any mind in anything that they did. Their marriage. Their move from New York. Taking Lydia’s camera away. These were all things that they did for themselves.

Delia offered to teach Lydia how to make statues with the excuse of keeping Lydia’s hands busy, but Lydia knew Delia just felt guilty. After the past few months, Lydia thought that Delia deserves to feel bad for what she’s done. Charles refused to ask Lydia about anything that wasn’t school related, and whenever Lydia brought up anything about pictures, he quickly tried to change the subject. Lydia’s attempts to clear her name fell on deaf ears.

Ultimately, playing the part of good daughter earned Lydia nothing. Even if she got good grades in school, even if she pretended as though school didn’t make her want to curl up into a dark hole and never climb out, she still wouldn’t get her camera back. Quiet, uncomfortable dinners suddenly became a different battle ground and Lydia was forced to wait and see what kind of fallout would occur each day.

“Lydia,” Charles strained himself to sound calm, but Lydia could already see the frustration concealed within his expression. “I’m very disappointed in you.”

“What’d I do this time?” Lydia mumbled before she took another bite of bland food. She put her fork down as her appetite suddenly died with a swallow.

“You know full well, missy.” Charles put his fork down too and looked pointedly at Lydia. She glanced up for a moment at him.

“I really don’t.” Lydia hoped that for once, Charles would actually listen to her.

“We already told you that we’re tired of you hiding our work from us. It’s childish.” Delia explained with a curt tone. She dropped her fork and folded her hands. “You are too young to be throwing this kind of temper tantrum, we expect more from you.”

“Yes,” Charles nodded. “If you think that throwing my papers everywhere is going to get you your camera back, then you are sorely mistaken.”

“Come on, I’m fifteen.” Lydia rolled her eyes and leaned back in her chair. “Of all the ways I could lash out, WHY would I touch your stuff? Plus, it’s not like you have the camera locked up. If I wanted to, I could just take it while you’re in bed at night.”

Lydia wouldn’t admit to them that she thought about stealing it back every night. A part of her hoped that they would see how she honored their rules and realize that she wasn’t the culprit. But obviously, that was hoping for too much.

“Oh please,” Delia huffed. “We’d notice you walking around as soon as you got out of bed. You’re not exactly sneaky.”

Lydia glared at Delia. There were plenty of nights Lydia had accidentally dropped something, or made a loud noise, without either of them waking up from the ruckus. Delia’s valium habit and Charles’ alcoholism only made it easier to get away with stuff.

“I’ve told you multiple times now that you’re not getting that camera back until you stop this nonsense.” Charles cleared his throat. “It’s been months now Lydia. We aren’t moving back to New York. The sooner you accept that, the better off we’ll be.”

“Oh, what does it matter!” Lydia finally blurted out. “You’re just as obsessed with work here as you were back there! Delia’s been the one to complain the most about moving here, not me! I just wish you’d listen to me for once!” Lydia shoved her chair away and stood up. Tears began to form in her eyes. “I may as well be a toddler since you treat me like one!”

“Young lady, where do you think you’re going?” Delia snapped and stood up.

“To my room, it’s not like you can take that away from me too!” Lydia snapped back and ran from the dining room abruptly.

As much as she tried to rein in her tears, Lydia still found herself crying intermittently throughout the evening. Neither Charles nor Delia even so much as knocked on her door to bid her goodnight when they retired to their bedroom for the evening. No one even wanted to talk to her about her behavior at dinner.

Lydia finally calmed herself down enough to write in her journal for the evening. Her head still buzzed with the excess energy as she began to write down the evening’s events. For a moment, she thought she smelled cigarette smoke. A common scent to randomly smell throughout the house.

At first Lydia thought Delia or Charles were sneaking a smoke, but she quickly grew to learn that the scent followed the hidden apparition. The crook responsible for the shenanigans going on inside Lydia’s house. Though the scent was always faint and smelled a little rotten, it was one of the ways Lydia could tell that the ghost was present in the room.

Lydia struggled to focus on her entry. She mentioned her own declaration that she may as well be a ghost, and admitted to thinking that she may be better off dead. Life held no more meaning for Lydia anyway, no friends, no camera, no mother. There was simply no more desire to live left in Lydia’s tired bones.

“.er…….? ….i..? ..a. . .o..o...”

Lydia frowned as she smelled another waft of smoke. The voice was quiet and hazy, she couldn’t even make out what it was saying. She wondered if someone was hiding in her closet, or standing outside her door, but she saw no one when she checked. Reluctantly, Lydia sat back down at her vanity and continued her journal entry.

“..h..e….r.a……..o…..,.bu..suicide...no…...best…..t….e...d….y’s…...tion.”

Lydia gasped and accidentally threw her pen aside. The voice was definitely coming from directly in front of her, and as her eyes flew up to her reflection in the mirror, she saw someone else looking back at her. Front and center, an old grey corpse covered in dirt and grime with mischievous eyes smiled widely back at her.

Immediately, Lydia knew that this was the ghost responsible for her more current misery. The one who had been shuffling her photos, hiding Charles’ paperwork, making a mess out of Delia’s office. His harassment was the one that had been driving her family crazy, and for a moment, Lydia wondered if he also drove Adam and Barbara Maitlant to their deaths.

He let out a delighted laugh with a small tilt of his head.

“So you CAN see me! YES! Oh my god! This is so cool! I gotta tell you, I’ve been so BORED!” The ghost started rambling before Lydia could say anything. “Haven’t even had so much as a decent fuck since I’ve been here, and you guys are hardly exciting enough to bother jerking off to!”

“Um, who are you?” Lydia cut him off before he could say another word.

Lydia’s eyes glossed over the dirt and mold on his rotten flesh. Briefly, she wondered just how long the ghost had been watching her today. She came to the conclusion that the ghost must have been reading her diary metaphorically over her shoulder, and closed the book before he could read anything else.

“Well, I’m not TECHNICALLY supposed to tell you. But if you can guess it, we can keep it our little secret.” The ghost winked at her.

“Why can’t you just tell me your name?” Lydia quirked an eyebrow back at him.

“It’s like a rite of passage. A fun game to keep things interesting.” He absentmindedly scratched at the side of his face and gave an impish smile. Lydia didn’t really believe him, and let out a snort.

“Sounds like a shitty hazing ritual if you ask me.”

“Well, I didn’t ask you! Come on, game time! Show us your charades skills.” He waved both of his hands to gather her attention. Lydia watched as he held up two fingers.

“Two words?” She mumbled.

“Yes! Ok.” He holds up one finger, and then his reflection transformed into a beetle. Lydia wrinkled her nose at the image.

“Beetle?” She asked after a few seconds of studying.

“Yes!” The beetle’s legs flew up before transforming back into his normal form. “Now,” he held up two fingers and then transformed into orange juice.

“Beetle Orange Juice?”

“No!” He transformed into apple juice, and then grape. “The type! What type of drink?”

“Juice.” Lydia stated after seeing the ghost, Beetlejuice, transform a few more times.

“Yeah! Just that!” Beetlejuice changed back into his normal shape in the mirror.

Beetlejuice watched Lydia with bated breath for a moment, just waiting for her to say his name. But Lydia knew that there has to be a catch. There usually is in most paranormal and supernatural cases, after all. Words always have a purpose and meaning in spells, and Lydia had no doubt that she might accidentally curse herself if she said his name. Beetlejuice seemed far too excited right now anyway, and Lydia refused to say his name until he admitted to her what would happen when his name is spoken out loud.

“So put it together now.” Beetlejuice speaks up once he grew impatient, which only took a few seconds really. He held his two hands apart and then mimicked smashing something together.

“Put what together?” Lydia asked. Beetlejuice growled and ran his hands through his hair.

“My name, stupid!”

“Oh,” Lydia mouthed. “But why did I have to guess your name?”

She did her best to keep her smirk from showing up on her face. Lydia knew that she’s annoying the ghost right now, playing with figurative fire. But if he decided to kill her for it, then he’s basically solved her suicidal problem for her.

“Augh!” Beetlejuice cried and shook his head. “Because reasons! Why are you being so difficult!?”

Lydia is a little peeved at his insistence for secrecy. Plus, without her camera, this is the most interesting thing she has going on in her life currently. So Lydia decided that if Beetlejuice refused to answer one question, then maybe he’d be a little more keen to answer a different one.

“Why have you been spying on my family?” Lydia finally asked. “Are you the one whose been messing with my Dad’s stuff? You’re the one that spilled Delia’s chemicals everywhere, aren’t you?” She already knew that Beetlejuice was the culprit. But thinking you know the truth, and having it confirmed, are two entirely different things. And Lydia likes being right.

“So I’ve been haunting your family. Big whoop. I wouldn’t have done all that stuff if I knew you could see me. I was bored to death!” Beetlejuice complained.

Lydia understands, she really does. This is his way of acting out for attention, fun, amusement. Sometimes she did much the same thing when the boredom bug striked. Being weird or silly just took the edge off of that nagging boredom.

But Beetlejuice had gone too far, he got Lydia yelled at, and worse, grounded for an extended period of time. Plus, he will probably never be able to right the wrongs that Charles and Delia have dealt to Lydia these past few months. So he already owed Lydia a great deal.

“You owe me an apology.” Lydia ignored Beetlejuice’s little tirade. “It’s your fault that I got grounded.” Beetlejuice frowned and then chewed on his cheek for a moment, just barely making eye contact with Lydia.

“If you say my name three times, I can un-ground you.” He growled out. And there it is, the answer Lydia had been trying to drag out of him since the beginning of this conversation.

“So what? Saying your name three times is the magic charm?”

“Yup!” Beetlejuice perked up. He leaned forward. “Three times, uninterrupted! You free me from my prison, and I can help you with your problem!”

So maybe saying his name once in a conversation might be fine. But Lydia wasn’t about to run that risk. If Beetlejuice was trapped, then it’s probably for a very good reason.

“You’re trapped in a mirror?” Lydia asked in the hopes that he might give her more information.

“No,” Beetlejuice pinched at his forehead and rocked on his heels. “I’m trapped in inconvenient places with barely any access to my powers! I’ve been hanging out in the model upstairs. Your photographs too. Did anyone ever tell you that your mother is a HOTTIE and that you look just like her?” He gestured to the small photo frame sitting on her vanity.

Lydia’s a little relieved to see that he knows Delia isn’t actually her mother, and then disturbed that he had been so close all along. How had she never noticed him before? Was she only able to see him now because he LET her see him?

Either way, Lydia didn’t want to dignify his comments about her mother with a response. Nor is she willing to acquiesce to his request. For now, Lydia decided that she should spend some time thinking about this turn of events.

“Alright, well, it’s bedtime.” She said tiredly. Had it not been for their conversation, Lydia would be in bed by now.

“No! Wait!” Beetlejuice tried to grab her, but he couldn’t reach outside of the mirror. “Say my name three times, and I can tuck you in! Tell you a bedtime story!”

Lydia nearly snorts and looks for something to cover the mirror with. The knowledge that he can watch her from her vanity table is a little too creepy, even for her tastes.

“I’ll think about it.” Lydia grabbed an oversized shawl and draped it over the mirror. Beetlejuice can’t see her anymore, but she can still hear his grumbling tirade from beneath the fabric.

As Lydia got into bed, she wondered if he’ll stay there for the rest of the night. But suddenly she can’t feel his presence anymore, and Lydia can only assume that he’s left to spy on somebody else. Once she’s officially alone, Lydia relaxed under her blankets, and before she can give the night’s events anymore thought, she’s out like a light.

The next day, Lydia reluctantly goes through the motions of life. She reluctantly wakes up. Reluctantly gets ready for school. Reluctantly hops on her bike and leaves her house behind her.

Not once in the morning did Lydia catch sight or sense Beetlejuice’s presence. During school, he doesn’t show up either. But Lydia had never noticed him there before, so that doesn’t surprise her. Once Lydia makes it home from the long day, she feels like she’s playing a game of ‘Where’s Waldo’.

Lydia looked for him in photographs and reflective surfaces on her trip through the house and up into the attic. The day’s struggles are immediately forgotten as soon as she steps through the doorway into the attic and finds the cantankerous ghost pouting on the model. He’s sitting quietly in the cemetery, looking just as dead and dirty as Lydia remembered him to be.

“Wow, you weren’t kidding.” Lydia mumbled when she spotted him. She dropped her bag onto the couch and stood a foot away from the model, just observing him. “You know, I’ve been trying to find you since we first moved in. Were you always in such obvious places?”

Lydia watched him as he pulled a cigarette from his mouth and chucked it onto the fake grass. Beetlejuice sighed heavily and grumbled beneath his breath. Lydia frowned when she realized that he’s being difficult on purpose.

“You said you were extremely bored last night, I thought you’d at least be up for some conversation or something.” She turned away slightly and looked at her backpack.

“I’d much rather be free. Twenty questions isn’t exactly a game I like to play. Not for free at least.” Beetlejuice tacked on the last part softly, hinting that he might be up for an exchange of freedom for answers. Lydia is tempted, but she knows that it’d be more trouble than it’s actually worth.

“Well, good luck with that.” She hummed and sat on the couch. Lydia did her best to appear disinterested as she began to do her homework. A small smirk worked its way onto her face when Beetlejuice planted himself in a photo inside of her history book.

“You’re seriously gonna give up that quickly? Come on, I’m a shy boy hungry for some proper company. You just gotta work me a little bit.” Lydia sneered at him as he jerked his hand up and down.

“No thanks, I’m not particularly fond of figuratively pulling teeth. If you want to have an actual conversation with me, then you shouldn’t shut me out like that.”

Beetlejuice scoffed but kept his comments to himself.

“Fine.” Lydia flipped the page to try and get started on her homework, but Beetlejuice’s muffled yells on the other page drag her back.

“What is it?” Lydia asked dryly. She accepted his glare with a small smirk.

“Well, don’t you want me to answer your question?” Beetlejuice folded his arms and pouted at Lydia fiercely.

“I do, but I’m not going to let you out just to get those answers. I’m still irritated with you for getting me grounded.”

“Oh please, how is any of that MY fault?” 

“Really? You make my parents think that I’m the one messing with their stuff, and then whenever my dad’s about to give me my camera back, you mess everything up!” Lydia is nearly shouting by the end. She took a deep breath through her nose and pinned Beetlejuice with the harshest glare she can muster.

“It’s not my fault he assumed it was you!” Beetlejuice rolls his eyes. “I’m bored, pestering the living is the only thing I can do at the moment! If you seriously want your camera back, I can get it for you.”

“I’m not letting you out just to steal my camera back.” Lydia watched him lean on one of the people in the photo. He pulled out another cigarette and began to smoke once more. The fight seemed to have left him, for now, but that doesn’t keep him from shooting her a malicious smile while the smoke drifts up from his breath.

“Then I’m going to keep harassing your dad until either he croaks, or you set me free.”

“Fine.” Lydia slammed her book shut.

She carried the book with her down the stairs with her finger carefully placed to mark the page she left Beetlejuice on. Lydia knocked on the wood door and pushed it open before Charles could say anything. She took a deep breath as both Charles and Delia pinned her with their confused questioning looks. For the moment, Lydia ignored how Delia is perched on Charles’ desk.

“I think it’s time we address the elephant in the room, er- house.” Lydia tried to sound confident. She held her head up high and continued on. “There’s a ghost haunting this house, haunting us.” Delia and Charles shared a brief look and Lydia realized that this is a conversation she won’t be winning. But that doesn't mean she won't try.

“Don’t try to worm your way out of your punishment by blaming something else.” Charles starts calmly. “Ghosts aren’t real, anyway.”

Lydia resisted the urge to stomp her foot.

“Daddy, I’m not making this up! Do you seriously think I’d keep sabotaging myself by messing with your stuff whenever you’re about to give me my camera back?” She cut him off before he could speak again. “Wouldn’t it make more sense for me to just steal my camera back? Why won’t you believe me? Here, I have proof!” Lydia began to open the book.

“Charles, dear, clearly keeping her from her hobby isn’t helping matters any.” Delia said softly. “Why don’t we change the punishment? Say, we let Lydia go out to take photos, but she has to have one of us with her.” She suggested calmly.

Lydia froze when she saw that Beetlejuice isn’t in the book photo anymore. She looked around the room for any sign of him, but she couldn’t sense his presence. Lydia didn’t even process Delia’s offer until Charles spoke up.

“Fine. We’re also going to restrict the amount of time you can spend in the dark room. We’ll be checking on you to make sure you’re not spending your entire day inside there.”

Lydia nearly stuttered when Delia got up and retrieved the camera from on top of the bookshelf. Delia handed it to Lydia gently and gave a strained smile.

“You can take pictures inside the house, but if you want to leave for a photo shoot, you need to have either your father or I to accompany you. No taking the camera to school, it stays here.”

Lydia looked down at the camera for a moment, astonished by the turn of events.

“Did you need help with homework, sweetie?” Charles asked after a moment of silence. He seemed uncomfortable suddenly with the strange atmosphere the conversation had created.

“N-no.” Lydia backed out of the room and let the door shut behind her. She can hear their muffled conversation through the cracks as she stood there silently.

“Why did you have to do that?” Charles sighed heavily.

“Well it’s not like keeping her away from her camera was working, Charles. Plus, we haven’t been spending much time with her outside of dinner, and this will give us ample opportunity to deal with the problem directly. Whatever it may be.”

Tears formed in Lydia’s eyes as she unwillingly listened in on their conversation. She slung the camera strap over her head and wiped away some of the dust that had accumulated on the top. Finally, Lydia managed to move herself away from the door and back up to the attic. She wiped away the tears forming in her eyes before opening the door and stepping inside.

“I see you got your camera back.” Beetlejuice called from the photos at her desk. Lydia gently placed both the camera and the textbook down on the table and glared at him.

“No thanks to you.”

“Hey! I offered, but you decided to do things the hard way. Good on you though, you won’t believe how many people are just too lazy to solve their own problems.” Beetlejuice shrugged and lounged on the tombstone in the photo. Lydia scoffed and got to work cleaning and checking over her camera to ensure it was still in top condition. “So, what are you gonna take a picture of first? Have you hit the selfie stage yet? I could help you with that.” Lydia ignored him as he waggled his eyebrows at her.

“I’m going to get a picture of you as proof.” Lydia stated calmly and then snapped a picture of Beetlejuice sitting in the photo.

He began to laugh wildly.

“Good luck with that! Chances are, everyone’s only going to see a picture of a picture!” Lydia frowned and set the photo face down while she waited for it to develop. “You couldn’t even trap me in a book for evidence! Besides, there’s no guarantee that Chuck would see me unless I were to present myself to him ‘in-the-flesh,’ if you know what I mean.” Beetlejuice used his fingers to make air quotes and then crossed his arms all smug-like.

“Why is that?” Lydia crossed her arms and leaned back in her seat. She didn’t think Beetlejuice would answer her this time, but she hoped he’d at least give her some insight since he was being chatty again.

“Most humans just don’t want to see us. It’s like avoiding a beggar on the street because it makes you uncomfortable, times ten.” Beetlejuice shrugged. “There’s a lot of weird excuses and reasons to explain it, but that’s the most generally accepted one.”

“What’s another reason?”

“Less powerful ghosts aren’t able to affect much of the living world. It takes a lot of work and energy to be seen.” Beetlejuice met Lydia’s studious gaze. Clearly, he was mentally begging her to just magically understand what he was getting at.

“So then, why can I see you?”

Beetlejuice scoffed and suddenly vanished from the photo. Lydia looked around the other photos, but couldn’t find him. She stood up and looked around the model and then the entire room. Finally she found him hanging out in a spider web munching on something.

“Well?” Lydia put her hands on her hips and waited for Beetlejuice to answer her question.

“Well what?” He asked in a bored tone and glared down at Lydia.

“Why can I see you?”

“Fuck, babe, I don’t have all of the answers! Why did you come looking for me after I left that picture of yours?”

Lydia paused before she could sass him back. She looked around the room and then finally settled her sights back on Beetlejuice.

“Because I wanted to see you.” He cut her off before she could continue.

“Aw really?” Beetlejuice held his hands to his face. “You mean it? Darlin, you are just so sweet!” Lydia glared at him.

“I was GOING to say that I don’t avoid the more precarious and creepy parts of the world. I myself am strange and unusual, so it only makes sense that I could see you once you actually let me.” Lydia thought quietly to herself for a moment. “So maybe my dad could see you too, if you let him.”

“Don’t wanna.” Beetlejuice huffed.

“What! Why? You said that you were bored.”

“I am.” Beetlejuice held up his fist to look over his grubby nails.

“So then why don’t you want him to see you?” Lydia knew he had to be messing with her by now.

“Lots of reasons. He looks like a total stiff, namely.” Beetlejuice snickered to himself. “Look babe, I’d love to do this all night, I really would. But I can’t just go showing myself to every other breather that comes across my path. There’s rules and stuff. Red tape. You get it. Plus, why do I need him now that I have you? You’re much more interesting than your father, prettier too.”

Lydia’s nose scrunched up. She knew he had to be lying to her, saying shit he didn’t actually mean just to placate her, and she wanted no part in it. She thought ghosts were supposed to be morose and lonely, or at least loud and menacing. But so far, Beetlejuice just seemed like a hyperactive obnoxious sleaze-ball.

Instead of rising to the bait, Lydia decided to retreat back to the couch to continue her homework. Photograph temporarily forgotten upon the desk. Beetlejuice remained mostly quiet while she tried to focus on her homework, occasionally humming to himself while he traversed the attic’s webs and corners for snacks.

When she went back to her history book, Lydia picked up the photo she took of Beetlejuice and frowned. There was no ball of light, odd warping, nor unnatural shadowy figure denoting his presence. Perhaps Beetlejuice was actually a very weak ghost trapped in small form due to an accident. That would explain why Lydia couldn’t see him for so long, and why he seemed desperate for her to say his name three times.

But Beetlejuice was clearly the culprit for the chaos happening in her house. This implied that he has more power than he’s letting on. Though there’s also the possibility that his small stature and power level have nothing to do with one another. There’s really just no way for Lydia to know the truth.

When she goes down for dinner, she senses Beetlejuice’s presence and finds him hanging out in the reflection of the toaster.

“Dad, look at the reflection in the toaster.” Lydia pointed at Beetlejuice. Charles looked at the toaster momentarily and then took another bite of food.

“Yes, very interesting honey.” He mumbled boredly. Beetlejuice started laughing loudly at the pout that formed on Lydia’s face.

“See! Told you!” He shouted exuberantly. “Nobody can see me when I’m like this, except for you, apparently!” Beetlejuice shouted over Delia. Delia was looking directly at Lydia, so there's no doubt that she just asked Lydia a question.

“What? I’m sorry I didn’t hear you.” Lydia winced. For once, she wasn’t actually trying to be rude to Delia. But Delia took it in stride.

“Do you want to go to the city with me tomorrow after school? I need to pick up some supplies.”

“Listen! No matter how much I yell, these two bozos just won’t hear a single thing I say! It’s torture babe!” Beetlejuice shouted over Delia again. Lydia sneaked a glance at him to see the obnoxious grin on his face and a shrug that meant to say ‘what can you do?’

“Um, yeah, sure.” Lydia agreed, mostly because she isn’t totally sure what Delia asked her. Delia smiled though, clearly delighted.

“Perfect! Maybe we can get you something new too! We do have a dinner party coming up soon, after all, and you’ll need something appropriate to wear!”

“Dinner party?” Lydia asked. Beetlejuice is thankfully being quiet now. He seemed a little too interested in the subject matter.

“Your mother’s agent and some guests are coming over to discuss business.” Charles explained. Lydia resisted the urge to state that Delia is not her mother. She doesn’t want to start another fight so soon after getting her camera back.

“Do I have to?” Lydia asked quietly. Business dinners are always so boring. Plus, since she has no part in the business, Lydia had no real reason to be there.

Charles and Delia share a look, like they’re considering whether or not Lydia should be required to attend.

“You’re apart of this family, and this meeting is important to your mother. So you should be here to support her.” Charles finally said. Lydia gaped and then frowned.

“But they’re so boring! It’s not like you need me around just to eat food and talk work.”

“You still need to eat, so you’ll be having dinner with us.” Charles says snappishly and gave Lydia a look that implied that he’s done with the conversation.

Lydia refused to look at anyone during the rest of the dinner. Charles and Delia both refused to speak up too. Unfortunately, Beetlejuice had no qualms telling a story about some crazy dinner party he went to where the stripper had no leg. Lydia pretended to not listen even though the story made the rest of her dinner significantly more bearable.

Hours later, Lydia found herself ready for bed, but unable to fall asleep. Beetlejuice had taken to bugging Charles for the rest of the evening, so the past few hours had been relatively quiet for her. It would have been the perfect time to focus on her homework, had it not been for the fear that Beetlejuice might go too far. Lydia got out of her bed and peered out of the window to see the stars twinkling clearly in the dark of night.

Mind made up, Lydia snagged her camera and crept back up into the attic excitedly. She didn’t turn on any of the lights. Instead, Lydia opened one of the windows and held the camera still while she took a few photos. Patiently, Lydia waited and eventually withdrew from the window with the night’s chill creeping along her skin.

The chill permeated the attic now, and as Lydia closed the window, a mellow glow lit up the space. Somehow, the lights dangling over the model, as well as the fake streetlights and house lights, turned on. Lydia took a few photos of the model in a daze, slowly wandering around the long table, and mostly ignoring Beetlejuice. Her eyes traced the stars dangling over the town.

“What are you doing?” Beetlejuice shouted to get her attention when he realized that Lydia wasn’t going to acknowledge his presence. He knew she could see him sitting on the roof of her house represented in the model.

“Just thinking.” Lydia mumbled quietly and only shot him a small glance. “You don’t really get to look at the stars since you’re trapped in here, do you?”

“I’m a star, look at me!” He stood and waved his hand angrily.

Lydia finally relented and properly looked at Beetlejuice. Before Beetlejuice could say anything else, she continued to wander over to the couch while looking over her photos. With the camera in her lap, Lydia curled up onto the couch and sat quietly. Beetlejuice glared at her from over on the model and tapped his foot irritatedly.

“You seriously pouting about having to attend a dinner party?” He asked so suddenly that Lydia actually flinched and roused herself from her thoughts.

“No.” Lydia refused to look in Beetlejuice’s direction.

“It certainly looks like that to me.”

Lydia scoffed and flattened out her nightgown along her legs.

“I’m not pouting.” Lydia insisted. “I’ve just got a lot on my mind.”

“Right. You’re not pouting like a child, and I’m not dead.”

Lydia could just hear the smirk in Beetlejuice’s voice and finally turned to glare at him.

“I’m not pouting! I’m just irritated! Is that against the law now or something?” 

“Oh, come on! What do you have to be irritated about?” Beetlejuice asked sourly.

“Plenty!”

“Please, do enlighten me. Because from where I’m standing, all I see is a rich kid throwing a lame excuse for a temper tantrum!”

“I’m not throwing a temper tantrum!” Lydia seethed and left her camera upon the couch as she stood up to glare Beetlejuice down properly. “If anyone is throwing a temper tantrum, it’s you! You’re pissed that no one can see you, but instead of just LETTING someone see you, you do whatever you can to drive them crazy!”

“Oh, is THAT what I’m pissed off about? It’s not that I’m apparently invisible to everyone but a moody, unreasonable teen. Never even fucking mind the fact that I’m trapped in this shit-hole in the first place!” Beetlejuice squared up with Lydia, matching her pose with hands on his hips. If he weren’t so small, his glare and body language would be much more intimidating. “At least I don’t make half-assed attempts to get noticed by dearest mommy and daddy and then pout in a corner when I don’t get what I want!”

“That is NOT WHAT I DO!” Lydia seriously wanted to throttle the ghost. In a fit of rage, she picked up Beetlejuice between her thumb and forefinger.

Beetlejuice rolled his eyes. Lydia flinched when something sharp suddenly stabbed itself into her thumb. She tried to drop Beetlejuice, but he clung to her finger. Lydia held her hand flat and glared down at him while a small trickle of blood flowed from the small cut on her thumb. Beetlejuice steadied himself on the palm of her hand and adjusted his trenchcoat.

“I don’t care if they pay attention to me! It just drives me crazy that they don’t take anything I say seriously. I can’t even convince them to believe that there’s a ghost here with us! To them, I may as well be a toddler screaming for ice cream most days.” Lydia wondered whether or not she should try to drop Beetlejuice back onto the model so that she could do something about her bleeding thumb.

“Look babe, I hate to break it to you, but they’re not going to believe a word you say until you show them undeniable proof. They’re too boring and self-involved to accept anything less.”

“They’re not THAT self-involved.” Lydia argued weakly.

Beetlejuice crooked a brow at her and held up a hand, ticking off points as he listed examples.

“Neither of them notice when you come home with a new bruise, nor do they notice when you sneak out of the house in the middle of the night. And despite all of your blubbering, they still have no idea about your suicidal thoughts!”

Lydia flushed from embarrassment as she suddenly recalled the fact that he had been spying on her family for at least three months already. She stuttered as she tried to think of something to say to defend herself and her actions.

“I honestly don't give a shit. If I were in your shoes, I’d certainly do MUCH worse. But don’t come complaining to me and pretend that you’re any better. You’re such a hypocrite!” Beetlejuice tacked on an obnoxious feminine voice just to annoy Lydia.

“Ugh,” Lydia lowered her hand down to the model and then tipped Beetlejuice onto it. He watched her with a bored expression as tears began to form in her eyes. “You’re such an asshole. You probably deserve to be trapped like this.”

“I just do my job! It’s not my fault if not everyone appreciates how good I am at getting results!”

“And what kind of job could a dead guy like you possibly have?” Lydia asked disinterestedly while she inspected the small knick on her thumb.

“I’m a Professional Ghost.” Beetlejuice slicked back his hair half-heartedly and puffed out his chest. “The Ghost With the Most. The best of the worst! I can solve almost any problem you’ve got.”

“And what’s the cost for your services? A soul?” Lydia pulled a forgotten napkin off of her work desk and held it to her thumb.

“Please, I’m no demon.” Beetlejuice scoffed. “It depends, but usually, all I want is some fun and freedom. Money doesn’t have any real value once you’re dead.” Lydia appraised Beetlejuice for a moment and then shook her head.

“I don’t believe you.”

“Ack!” Beetlejuice stomped his foot. “I’m telling the truth here! You’re so selfish. Do you have any idea how annoying it is to be stuck like this? I just want some time to stretch my legs, so to speak. What’s so bad about that?”

Lydia watched Beetlejuice for a moment and considered everything that he had been saying. He didn’t really come across as trustworthy. So even if he was telling the truth now, there just had to be some kind of catch. There always was in business deals.

“I’ll think about it.” Lydia finally mumbled. She’s still not sure about making any kind of deal with the ghost, especially when there’s nothing she wants enough to warrant the trouble she’d surely get into.

“She’ll think about it she says. Think about it. Such bullshit. What a load of crap.” Beetlejuice mumbled more to himself than to Lydia, but she could still hear him. He crossed his arms and began to pout, and Lydia felt a little bad for him for just a moment.

“Look, I just don’t know if I can trust anything you say. I don’t exactly know you all that well, after all. Maybe if you stopped harassing my dad and Delia so much, I’d be more inclined to help you out.”

Beetlejuice turned away from Lydia and rolled his shoulders.

“I’m a GHOST. Haunting is what I DO. Besides, it’s not like I can go anywhere.”

“Well if you behave yourself, maybe I can take you to school with me. Or try to come up with some pranks that won’t make my dad stress out so much, ok?” Lydia spoke softly and watched as Beetlejuice tilted his head slightly to the side. He thought about her suggestions for a moment before sighing heavily.

“I’ll THINK about it.” He sassed her. But that’s fine. Lydia smiled softly at him as he turned around and nodded her head.

“Thank you.” A long drawn out yawn caught Lydia off guard. “Good night, B.” She finally retreated from the attic for the night.

Beetlejuice didn’t follow her to her room. He just sat underneath the glow of fake stars, willing the night away while trapped in his own musings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oof, looks like Beetlejuice won't be getting out that easily! But each job has its own drawbacks, its own challenges. Whats an ancient ghost got to loose? Time? Hah, Beetlejuice has nothing BUT time. Tune in next time to see just how far Beetlejuice's patience runs.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beetlejuice finally gets around to changing up his haunt style, if only to get himself on Lydia's good side. It may be more subtle and old school than what he prefers, but maybe he'll end up enjoying it, especially if he manages to scare and annoy Lydia this way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Challenge time! See if you can pick out my favorite lines in this chapter! They made me laugh a lot ;)

"Behave yourself, she says. Stop stressing my daddy out so much, she says." Beetlejuice mimicked Lydia's voice and then scoffed. "Blaugh! What does she know?"

Beetlejuice sat and watched the fake stars dangling with a pout. His eyes gradually looked over to the window across the way. Even if he turned off the model's lights, he wouldn't be able to enjoy the view of the night sky quite like Lydia did earlier. The view was shoddy at best and not very interesting either way.

But still, he wondered if he could convince Lydia to at least place a photo in a window for him. He still wouldn't be able to enjoy the breeze of the cold night's air, nor smell the fresh scent of morning dew at four am, but it would be better than what he had now. Trapped in a mimicry of life, snapshots of memories and a miniature town. Even having full range of a house would be better than this!

A scowl worked its way back onto his face. Frankenstein's brat was far smarter than Beetlejuice took her for. Demanding too. If he wanted to get anywhere with her, he'd have to work his way into her beating heart, worm his way under her skin, pick at her brains until there was nothing left but maggots and rot.

Adam and Barbara Maitland, surely, would have been easier than this girl. People in distress always are. Sure, in a fit of panic, Lydia might be coercible, but who isn’t easy to trick when they’re panicking? Lydia wasn't the kind of girl to waste a wish on simple problems with easy solutions, she went out of her way to solve her own problems with that bullheaded determination that kind of reminded Beetlejuice of himself.

To top it all off, Lydia isn’t the type of girl to trust pretty words. A woman scorned a few too many times demanded actions as proof. Heartfelt speeches meant little to the likes of people like Lydia Deetz, and they are always the biggest pain in the ass. Beetlejuice usually avoided those people since he usually saw them as a waste of his time, but right now, he has nothing BUT time. And so few options to choose from to boot.

So even if harassing Charles Deetz to death seemed more fun, it definitely wouldn't ingratiate Beetlejuice with Lydia. In the long run, he needs her more than he needs Charles; his end goal would require her assistance either way, and it would be significantly easier to accomplish if she actually LIKED Beetlejuice. She just has to be worked a little bit more, buttered up, so to speak. If it meant freedom, Beetlejuice decided that he really doesn't mind the extra work.

Beetlejuice teleported to Charles’ office and studied the space for ideas. Messing with Charles’ work had been fun, but it certainly hadn't been getting Beetlejuice actual results outside of minor amusement. Plus, if he wants Lydia to trust him, he'll have to change his game up. A proper old school haunting seemed to be just what the doctor ordered.

Charles spent more than enough time on the phone for work, so Beetlejuice could short out the phones or even the entire house's electricity. It’d take a little extra juice, but it'd be worth it if he can get Delia at the same time with whatever task she's trying to complete. Plus, if Lydia's home, it'll be bound to annoy her too. Simple AND Perfect.

Next, Beetlejuice made sure to mess with one of Charles' office toys, the Newton’s Cradle. As soon as the anxious man pulls a ball back and lets go, everything will fall apart, and the balls will go flying. Beetlejuice also takes a peak at the bird book open on Charles' desk and contemplates simple illusions just to really mess with the man.

Once the sun begins to rise, Beetlejuice is more than prepared to take on the new haunting challenge. He has plans upon plans, minor tricks and pranks to fill the days up until Charles and Delia finally crack. They're the kind of tricks he's given up doing a long time ago since they're usually better for long-con hauntings, but just planning out each scare already had Beetlejuice more excited than he's been for at least one hundred years. It’s what Lydia TECHNICALLY wanted, after all, and she can’t fault him for following her demands.

He starts the morning off small, a tester prank just to see how jumpy Lydia is. She's sitting at her vanity doing a small bit of makeup when Beetlejuice finds her, and he waits until she leaned in real close to the mirror before taking action. He alters her reflection to that of Emily, a nice battered and bruised version with green tinted skin and a broken jaw. As Lydia notices the change, she leans back slowly to appraise the specter.

"What have you done Lydia?" The corpse illusion rasps. Lydia let's out a hum.

"Neat. But that's not how my mother looked when she died." She says matter of factly. The illusion fades to reveal Beetlejuice pouting.

"Not even a little scared?" He asked, completely miffed by her lack of a reaction.

"It was cool, but I already know about you, so the element of surprise was lost on me." Lydia smirked. "It's like being in a nightmare and knowing it's not real." She flicked her hand to the side. "Scoot over, I needed to finish." Beetlejuice grumbled under his breath and went into the photo of Emily. Lydia continued to work on her makeup while she talked. "That was a really neat effect. Really different from what you usually like to do."

"Yeah well, I just figured that I may as well start using my other tricks since it seems like I'll be stuck here for a while. It'll give me a chance to practice my old haunting skills."

Lydia frowned as a series of questions flitted across her mind. Beetlejuice can hazard a guess as to what some of the questions might be.

How old are you? How did you die? What’s being dead like? How did you end up here? Did you die here?

"How is that any different from what you usually do?" She finally asked as she began to put away her makeup.

"Oh it's so different. For starters, illusions are like child's play to me. They typically work best for a subtle haunt; and I don't know if you've noticed, babe, but absolutely nothing about me is subtle." Beetlejuice fluffed himself up with a snazzy smile which Lydia rolled her eyes at.

"So your preferred scares tend to be big, loud, and a little weird."

"Exactly!" Beetlejuice snapped his fingers. "But I'm not allowed to do that anymore unless someone summons me. So I'm stuck with the small super no fun stuff. Ya dig?"

Lydia nodded and checked her bag for her school supplies.

"You went too big too often, so someone shut down your business by putting a curse on your name in an attempt to control you."

"Um, yeah…" Beetlejuice deflated. Had he really told her so much that she was able to piece together most of the story by herself? He studied Lydia as she put on her shoes before quietly leaving her room to investigate the others.

At this point in the morning, neither Charles nor Delia had even begun to rouse themselves from their sleep. Watching them snooze on their bed, waiting for them to wake up, would be entirely too boring. As much as Beetlejuice liked to people watch, this was a pointless activity. Plus, it was too soon to haunt their bedroom with hallucinations. That would come later.

Beetlejuice popped into the toaster in time to watch Lydia prepare herself a pot of coffee.

"Aren't you a little young to be drinking coffee?" He crossed his arms at her.

"Aren't you too dead to be questioning my life choices?" Lydia retorted quickly. "How old do you even think I am?" She asked while she prepped her mug. Lydia began setting up her breakfast and lunch while she waited for the coffee to brew.

"Honestly?" He appraised Lydia curves, or rather, lack of curves, and hummed. "I got no fucking clue. I assumed you had to be anywhere from twelve to seventeen."

"Hah!" Lydia blurted. "I'm fifteen." She poured herself a cup and took a sip while continuing her morning ritual.

"Twelve, fifteen, seventeen, you all tend to look the same to me."

"Yeah, I'm sure." Lydia rolled her eyes. She finished packing her stuff. "Look, I gotta get to school. Try to be good today." She stated rather than asking.

Beetlejuice scoffed and crossed his arms once more.

"I'll think about it." He spat out. Lydia smiled softly and waved goodbye before leaving for school.

Beetlejuice tried to be patient. He putzed around each photo and each mirror on the house, twiddling his thumbs while trying to wait like a good little boy for his plans to unfurl. Charles began to rustle over an hour after Lydia left. Bored, Beetlejuice watched the sleepy human make himself a fresh pot of coffee much like how Lydia did earlier before he shuffled towards his office.

Beetlejuice noticed how his own hands began to quake as he followed after the man, jumping into a bird photo on the wall. He couldn't believe his own excitement. Watching Charles settle down in his desk, brush aside a few papers, take another sip of coffee. After spending three months studying the man, Beetlejuice knew what would come next. Charles pulled a metal ball back on his toy, and let go.

"Damn it!" Charles cursed loudly as the metal balls scattered everywhere.

"Hehehehe!" Beetlejuice snickered loudly as Charles stumbled over his slippers, grappling for the small metal balls. He lost himself to the laughter as Charles got on the floor to pick up the mess.

"Shit!" Charles hissed under his breath as he stood up and looked over his now broken toy. Dejectedly, he placed the balls down on his desk and gently rolled one around his desk.

Beetlejuice congratulated himself on a prank well done, but the joy from it lasted only a few hours. Luckily, Delia began to get ready for the day in time for his next big move.

Beetlejuice caught Delia fussing with her makeup in her vanity. He decided to test out her perception first with something small yet tasteful, a simple illusion in the reflection of her mirror. Something for the more refined poltergeist, something that he's most definitely not.

A shadow roughly the shape and size of a grown human drifted past the doorway in the mirrors’ reflection.

Delia had no reaction to the movement in the mirror she was staring into. Either she was still too drowsy to notice the reflection, or far too preoccupied. The shadow returned to the doorway and just stood there. As the seconds flew by without Delia noticing the change, the shadow slowly approached her, centimeter by centimeter.

Finally, her eyes squinted and shifted to the side. In a second, the shadow was gone.

Beetlejuice snickered quietly as he watched and waited. As soon as Delia refocused on her task of getting ready, he'd slowly reintroduce the shadow brushing past her vision. Beetlejuice repeated this process a few times as she fixed her hair and got dressed, prepared breakfast and brought Charles some fresh coffee.

He let out a chuckle as Delia paused in front of Charles’s office to take a deep breath and collect herself. By this point, Beetlejuice didn’t have to do anything to make her eyes scan the corners of each hallway. The little nervous ticks of suspicion and worry were already settling into Delia’s mind, just as Beetlejuice had hoped for.

"Good morning dear." Delia finally entered the office and gave Charles a quick kiss. She saw the broken toy still sitting on his desk and frowned. The platter and coffee in her hands were temporarily forgotten. "What happened?"

"Oh, I must have been rough with it, or played with it too much. I broke it just this morning!" Charles chuckled. Delia put the mug and plate down on the desk and fixed a stray strand of Charles’ hair.

"Maybe if you're good today, Lydia and I will get you a new one."

"I'm surprised she agreed to go with you, honestly. She hates clothes shopping with us!" Charles leaned back in his seat and drank from his fresh cup of coffee.

"Me too, especially considering how reserved she's been lately. I thought she hated my guts after the last fight we had." Delia sighed heavily. "Plus, she really doesn't want to attend our business dinner. She never does. I thought she'd be against having any part in it."

"Hmm, yeah." Charles frowned and shrugged his shoulders. "Why don't you let her pick out a new skirt or something too? I'm sure she'd like something new to wear."

"Are you sure? After how she's been behaving for the past few months?"

Charlea rubbed his face and groaned. He finally stood and stretched.

"She's been really struggling these past few months, plus, it might encourage her to behave herself during the dinner." Charles took Delia's hand and smiled weakly.

"You know, she'd probably behave better too if she wasn't forced to sit through the entire ordeal." Delia chided Charles softly.

"I know, but she needs to learn how business works, eventually. Especially if she decides to sell her photos."

"True, but she's a sensitive girl. All artists are. We can guide her through the business world slowly, look into some events and contests and encourage her to check them out. Make sure she understands that business dinners are not a punishment, but an educational moment." Charles gave Delia a look and then sighed heavily.

"If she's not feeling up to it, then once we're done eating, she can retire for the night." Delia smiled softly and pulled Charles into a quick hug followed by a kiss. "You spoil that girl." He mumbled half heartedly.

"I would if you'd let me. But you wanted to keep that as your job." Delia poked him in the chest and then drew back. "Now eat, breakfast is getting cold." Delia pointed at Charles’ plate.

Beetlejuice gagged at the way Delia and Charles behaved towards one another. They almost never acted this sappy in front of Lydia. They were far too self conscious to have an audience whenever they got all lovey dovey, and Beetlejuice was always mildly irritated that he's probably the only creature privy to Delia and Charles soft side.

Even if she isn't aware of it, Lydia is spoiled indeed.

Beetlejuice mellowed out as the day went on. Once Delia started working on her sculptures for the day, it was impossible to get her attention. As easy as it was to continue gaining Charles’ attention, he was also simply an easily distractible man. A shadow in the shape of a bird flying across his window, and in turn, as a shadow upon the floor, ended up with the man looking for birds for over an hour. He barely paid the creaky floorboards any mind, only calling out to Delia a few times, and searching the halls once. Before Beetlejuice could try anything else, the man suddenly got distracted by one of Delia’s statues, then bird watching, coffee, and more bird watching, before he finally made it back to his own office.

It was almost sad how easy it was to mess with the man, and oddly unsatisfying. Beetlejuice spent some time thinking up ways to scare Lydia once he grew bored of Charles and Delia for the day. He ended up snoozing on the model in the attic once he realized just how active he'd been that day, and how much energy he expended as a result of it. That was exactly how Lydia found him when she came home from school.

Beetlejuice woke with a start to the sound of Lydia's camera in action. He snorted and nearly tumbled out of his self-made hammock. Lydia giggled as he shot her a glare.

"Babe, we talked about this." He wheezed as he righted himself.

"I know," Lydia said happily. "I just wanted to try." Beetlejuice watched Lydia warily as she seemed far too bubbly.

"What are you so peppy for?" He rasped.

"Today was just a better day," Lydia shrugged and quickly mellowed out. "Plus, today was Friday. I've got the whole weekend to relax."

"Oh," Beetlejuice felt his fingers began to twitch and he quickly got to work on a cigarette. 

He let out an obnoxiously loud breath as he blew some smoke in Lydia's direction. She wasn't even paying attention anymore as she was pulling her books from her bag to put onto the work table. 

"So I'll be the first to tell you that I DECIDED to be nice today, and I demand recompense." Beetlejuice waggled his head slightly as he spoke so matter of factly. Lydia snorted and turned to him once more, this time placing her hands on her hips.

"Oh is that so?"

"Yeah! You know how hard it is to do my work when I'm limited like this? I'm exhausted!" He complained loudly.

"Well what did you instead, if you were behaving yourself today?"

"Oh come on, what's with this third degree?" Beetlejuice rolled his eyes. "I made shadow illusions to fuck with them for hours. Shit moving in the corner of your eyes kind of junk."

"Aaannnnddd?" Lydia smirked as Beetlejuice groaned.

"And I fucked with Chuck’s stupid desk toy so that it broke when he played with it." Lydia pursed her lips and thought about it for a moment. "I stopped fucking with their papers like you asked!" Beetlejuice waggled his finger at Lydia. "AND I didn't hurt them. You owe me!"

Lydia let the tension seep out of her shoulders and slouched slightly.

"I suppose you do deserve a treat. Something small, just in case you don't keep up the good work." Beetlejuice scoffed loudly. "What would you like?" Beetlejuice grumbled under his breath and glared at Lydia.

"You're going clothes shopping today, right? Take me with you."

"Can you even leave the house?" Lydia didn't let Beetlejuice respond. "Either way, no. I'm not giving you ample opportunity to spy on naked women. Pick something else." Beetlejuice glared at her. He let out an exaggerated sigh.

"Put a photo in the window, facing out." He finally asked.

Lydia light up and looked at the polaroid she just took of the hammock Beetlejuice was sleeping in. She looked around quickly for a piece of tape, tore off a small piece, and then taped it to the bottom corner of one of the windows. Beetlejuice quickly jumped into that photo and looked out over the town and then up towards the irritatingly bright sky.

"Yeah, I guess this'll do." He hummed and relaxed in the photographed hammock.

"If you continue to be good, I'll put more photos up in different windows." Lydia offered gently. Beetlejuice rolled his eyes.

"I'd rather have my freedom babe!" He heard Lydia laugh gently.

"I'm sure you would, poltergeist."

Beetlejuice didn't really hear what Delia shouted from downstairs, but Lydia apparently knew what she was being summoned for.

"Oh right, I've got to change! I'll see you later, B.J.!"

Beetlejuice sighed heavily as he summoned beer bottles and glared at the bright blue sky. Hopefully, it'd get dark soon so that he could enjoy real stars again. Until then, he glowered down at the small town and watched as the cars drove by. His eyes kept track of Delia's car as she and Lydia drove off for the evening.

Lydia tried to be good since she did accidentally accept Delia’s invitation to go clothes shopping. But Lydia’s preference for all things black, and Delia’s demand for fashion trends, couldn’t help but to clash a little bit. Charles wasn’t even there this time to intervene, not that he would have. But having someone else to direct the irritation onto would have helped.

"I'm not asking you to change your whole wardrobe, but a splash of color can really elevate a look!" Delia crossed her arms as she and Lydia argued over a rack of clothes. She pursed her lips as she tried to think of a different way to explain it, to appeal to Lydia's goth aesthetic. "A red ribbon in your hair can really add a spooky aura, maybe like a kind of elegant murduress?" Delia spoke hesitantly. Lydia gave Delia a stern look and glanced at the dress Delia held in her hands. Delia gave an exaggerated sigh once she realized that Lydia wasn’t going to budge. "I'm not saying that you HAVE to get it. Just try a few things on, test out something a little different!" Delia pleaded. “If you like the style but not the colors or fabric, then we’ll have a whole lot more to work off of.”

"Fine," Lydia finally relented.

Throughout the trip, neither of them really agreed on any single dress or outfit for Lydia. In the end, Delia relented to letting Lydia wear something dark yet elegant for a teenager, nothing too ostentatious. In return, Lydia picked out some ribbons to put in her hair for school. Dark shades of red, green, and purple. Delia tried to goad Lydia into getting some hair clips as well, but Lydia stood her ground. Shiny pins and glitter just wasn't her thing.

After they had a small dinner and found Charles a new Newtons Cradle to play with, as well as a stress ball, they began their long drive home. Lydia was already snoozing in the front seat by the time they got home, and so, barely bad any energy to pay any mind to Beetlejuice. Not that he needed it though. Beetlejuice found himself more than content to watch the stars in the sky and dream of his freedom.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beetlejuice finally lands a decent scare on Lydia, but she ends up giving Beetlejuice another challenge unintentionally. It's not a challenge she thought she'd enjoy, but when it acts as the perfect distraction from Lydia's other daily struggles, it's almost enjoyable to have someone as consistently gross as Beetlejuice is.

Lydia woke up late on Saturday. She spent some time laying down in bed, day-dreaming about being asleep for a little bit longer before she finally got up for the day. If she could have, Lydia would have spent the entire day in her pajamas. But Delia would have nagged her about it, and she couldn't forget about Beetlejuice either. He was being quiet, for now, but that wouldn't last all day.

The best thing about vacations and weekends, to Lydia, wasn't even the fact that she was finally free from school for a little while. Lydia could wear whatever she wanted to, to be as extreme as she felt like being, without getting in trouble with her teachers. It was simultaneously a relief, and a much needed freedom.

Whether she went elegant with a long dress and slippers, wore layers, or simply stuck to pants and a shirt, no one could give her detention for it. Sure, Charles and Delia could nag her about her wardrobe, but at least they let her express herself however she wanted to. And today, Lydia felt like a skirt and lacey long sleeved shirt fits the bill.

As she sat down at her vanity, Lydia began to wonder when to expect Beetlejuice's interruptions. He did behave himself yesterday, and he was sure to want more entertainment before Lydia returned to school on Monday. But Lydia did have homework to do, and she really wanted to take photos at one point this weekend. Would Beetlejuice make these tasks impossible?

Lydia began to work on her hair, styling her bangs into points and pulling half of her hair up into a messy ponytail. As she finished spiking the ends, Lydia paused and gazed into the mirror with confusion etched on her expression. Someone seemed to be standing in the shadows along the wall, but she couldn't tell from the angle.

Lydia turned, and saw no one actually standing in her room. When she turned back, there was no one but her in the reflection too. As Lydia got to work putting on a minimal amount of makeup, no more shadowy figures returned. But even then, she wasn't sure she actually saw anyone.

Lydia finished her makeup and finally left her bedroom for the kitchen. Delia and Charles were both up and awake at the same time, which probably meant that they were up to something today. Even before Lydia could get herself a cup of coffee, Delia sprung the question onto Lydia.

“Your father and I are going into town today to pick up some supplies. Will you be joining us?"

Lydia groaned and quickly poured herself a cup, taking a sip of the slightly stale coffee before answering.

"I don't know, probably not. I wanted to work on my homework today. Though I was kind of hoping to get some photos today, too?" Lydia hoped that Charles wouldn't get mad at her and shot him her best, saddest expression possible.

"Hmm, we'll probably be out all day running errands." He shot her a stern look over his newspaper.

"Charles can take you tomorrow." Delia stated with a no-nonsense tone. Both Lydia and Charles shot Delia a surprised look. "Finish your homework today, that way you can stay out for as long as you want tomorrow." Delia explained, shooting Charles a stern look.

"Sounds perfect." Charles didn't sound excited about it. Lydia turned away from them to put some sugar into her coffee to make it easier to drink.

"Yeah," Lydia croaked as she felt her eyes begin to water for a moment.

"Perfect! Charles, maybe you'll even find some of those birds you keep reading about?" Delia clapped her hands. "Maybe Lydia can even help you get some photos of your own?"

"Sure thing. No problem." Lydia mumbled.

"Good. Now come eat breakfast with us before we leave."

Lydia reluctantly sat down at the table with some cereal.

Delia told Lydia where all they were planning on going today, and Lydia felt glad that she decided not to go. From the sounds of it, they'd be gone literally all day, which meant that Lydia would have a nearly empty house to herself for once. Charles got up and disappeared during Delia’s ramblings. He brought back forty bucks and placed it on the table in front of Lydia. He patted her shoulder and placed a quick kiss to her head before returning to his seat.

"Feel free to get yourself something for dinner if we're not back in time." He said with that strained smile of his. Lydia could tell that he wasn't too happy about going on this trip today either, but when it came to Delia, he had no real choice in the matter.

Delia put their plates in the sink, rushing off to their bedroom to grab something before they left. Charles took the moment to finish his coffee quietly. Lydia sighed softly to herself before speaking up.

"Dad, you don't have to go out with me tomorrow." He frowned at her.

"You're still grounded." He reminded her. "And you didn't get a chance to take any photos yesterday." Lydia stared down at her bowl as she pushed her cereal around with her spoon.

"I'll just take some in the house, or I can just wait." Lydia pretended to ignore Charles' gaze as he studied her.

"Well, Delia already said that we're going out tomorrow. She'll get mad if we don't go." Charles stood and put his mug into the sink as well. "We'll get lunch tomorrow too, make it special."

"Alright, I'm ready!" Delia popped back into the kitchen with her purse and a smile. She patted Lydia’s shoulder. “We’ll see you later, Lydia.” Charles shot Lydia another sheepish smile.

“Please take care of the dishes today.” He said softly before retreating after Delia.

Lydia waited until she heard the front door shut before she finally dropped her spoon in her bowl and let out a heavy sigh.

“Great.”

Lydia sniffed the air and looked at the reflection of the toaster. Beetlejuice had been a little too quiet so far, and she was sure he was going to have some sort of snide comment ready for her after this morning’s exchange. Maybe something about Lydia getting her panties in a twist when Charles’ couldn’t even be bothered to sound excited about spending time with his daughter. Or maybe he’d allude to how sad it is that it took a demanding Delia to get Charles to actually do something with Lydia, and that he never would have gone if Lydia herself had asked.

But it did hurt, and Lydia was so frustrated with herself for it. She already knew that Charles had no interest in participating in photography with her. He never did before. When the rules for her grounding changed to require an adult present for photography sessions, she already knew better than to expect Charles to actually ‘supervise’. She was honestly hoping that he had forgotten about that by this point though, or even tell her to just go by herself. 

Tomorrow was going to suck.

Lydia ditched her half-eaten cereal in the sink and sucked down the last of her stale coffee. She promised herself that she’d take care of it after lunch...or after dinner...or right before Charles and Delia came home for the night. For now, Lydia just wanted to enjoy the peace and quiet and get started on her homework.

Though the attic had always been a peaceful and quiet retreat, the silence that stretched from wall to wall was now thick and almost eerie. Since Lydia had first seen Beetlejuice, the house always had the ghost’s humming, scent of smoke, or otherwise indication of his presence. But this silence now was unnatural.

Lydia tried to focus on getting her math homework done, page after grueling page. After a particular problem, Lydia just couldn’t handle it anymore. There were no odd creaks, strange smells, tangible energy field which made the hairs on her neck and arms stand up. It was almost infuriating how disturbingly quiet Beetlejucie was being, and Lydia swore he had to be up to something.

“Alright Beej.” Lydia hissed and slammed her book shut. “What are you up to?” She called out.

Lydia inspected the model, studied the picture she put in the windowsill, parsed through every photo in the attic. Beetlejuice was either being difficult on purpose, or he was plotting. Either way, Lydia didn’t like it, and she wasn’t about to let him get away with whatever he was trying to do. Whatever it was.

She walked downstairs, studying each photo and reflective surface, sniffing as if she were a bloodhound looking for her prey. Lydia finally stepped back into her room and picked up her mother’s photo. Beetlejuice, so far, was nowhere to be found. Where could he have gone?

“B.J.” Lydia sat down and stared into the mirror furiously. “I don’t know what you’re trying to do, but knock it off.”

Out of the corner of her eye, Lydia saw the hand reach into her bedroom to grab the doorknob and slam the door shut. Lydia accidentally let out a yelp as she jumped back to her feet.

“HEY!” She rushed over to the door. It came open easily. Lydia rushed down the hall, chasing after the figure. “Beetle,” Lydia choked on her own breath as she struggled to keep herself from saying his name. She was so caught up in the moment that she almost said it. “Who let you out?” Lydia stormed down the hall.

The door to Delia and Charles’ room slammed closed. Lydia threw the door open and studied the bedroom angrily. She slowly walked in, studying the room’s contents from afar. As she approached Delia’s vanity, Lydia’s eyes caught something in the reflection. A man stood in the doorway with a knife in his hand, Lydia didn’t recognize him. He ran forward, reaching out for Lydia, and she felt him grab onto her shoulder as she turned to escape his grasp. Her hips rammed the vanity, shaking the table and knocking some of Delia’s makeup off.

“Beetlejuice!” She screamed as her life nearly flashed before her eyes.

Lydia’s chest heaved with heavy breaths as she came to realize that there was no one behind her. The scent of smoke was suddenly thick in the air as Beetlejuice’s cackles filled the room. Furious now, Lydia rounded on the vanity table and glared at Beetlejuice. He slammed his hands on the reflection of the table multiple times, wiping the tears out of his eyes before finally meeting Lydia’s gaze.

“Oh my god, that was amazing. Almost jizzed my pants!” He snickered. Lydia glared down at Beetlejuice as she pieced together what his plan had been the whole time. “And here you thought I wouldn’t be able to scare ‘ya.”

Lydia turned her back on Beetlejuice and stormed out of the bedroom. She marched back up into the attic and sat back at her work desk angrily. Even once Beetlejuice transported himself into one of her photos at the desk, she continued to ignore him. Instead, she turned her focus back onto her math homework, angry energy now being the power that drove her through each math equation, even once Beeltejuice started to speak up.

“Oh, come on!” Beetlejuice whined. “You didn’t want me messing with your stuff anymore, this is all I have left for amusement! And I gotta say, that was so much better than hiding Chuck’s paperwork! Much more satisfying than the stuff I was pulling on them yesterday. You’re much more attentive to your surroundings than they are.”

“So you were testing me.” Lydia huffed out in the midst of answering one of her final questions.

“One hundred percent! And you passed with FLYING colors, I might add.” Beetlejuice waved his hands. “Though I gotta admit, I wish you said my name two more times. That really would have added to the fun.” Beeltejuice shot Lydia a smug look which she wholly ignored.

He watched as Lydia slowly finished her math homework and put it away. His frown grew as he finally crossed his arms and began to glare at Lydia.

“You can’t seriously be mad at me. I all but WARNED you about this.” He growled. 

Lydia sighed heavily and rested her head in her hand.

“No, I’m not mad at you, I’m mad at myself.” She finally admitted. “I even KNEW you were up to something, and I fell for it, hook, line, and sinker.” She shook her head and groaned. “It was a good scare. I thought I already knew what to expect from you, and you just played me!” Beetlejuice’s frown slowly transformed back into a smirk during Lydia’s tirade. His chest puffed out with pride.

“Well of course! I TOLD you I was a _ Professional _, after all.” He adjusted his tie and smoothed out the creases on his jacket’s shoulders. “Now imagine what I could do FOR REAL. That was all child’s play for a ghost like me, simple boring illusions.”

Lydia shot Beetlejuice a dry look.

“I think I’m starting to understand why they have you locked up.” She said plainly and rolled her eyes. “Probably an even better example as to why I Shouldn’t let you out.” 

Beetlejuice deflated.

“Oh, come on!” He belted out angrily. “You basically ASKED for that.”

“I didn’t ask for you to try and scare the shit out of me!” Lydia hissed. “I just asked you to behave yourself.”

“And I told you that I’m a GHOST. I HAUNT. It’s that I DO.” Beetlejucie threw his hands aside with each inflection. “I said I’d THINK about behaving, but I’ve got LITERALLY nothing better to do. I have to entertain myself somehow!”

Lydia glowered down at Beetlejuice. He did have a point, to be fair. He said he’d try, and he did try. So far, the only person he’s gone out of his way to try and fully terrorize is Lydia, and that’s probably just because she’s the only one who’s actually noticed it. So long as Beetlejuice didn’t go out of his way to try and give Charles another heart attack, it was probably fine. But that didn’t mean that Lydia liked to be scared like that either.

“What if we found you something that could help entertain you during the day and night?” Lydia looked around the attic for some ideas.

“Being free to stretch my legs sure would be nice, for a start.”

Lydia rolled her eyes.

“No. I still don’t trust you, and I have no need for a professional ghost.”

Beetlejuice scoffed.

“Scaring isn’t my only talent. I have like, a million talents.” Beetlejuice counted off on his fingers as if that would help to prove his point.

“Name one that isn’t related to scaring people.” Lydia looked at Beetlejuice, not actually expecting anything much, and found that he didn’t disappoint her.

“I have a wonderful personality.”

“That’s not a talent.” Beetlejuice rolled his eyes. Lydia snorted and shook her head. “Just, let’s start small. I want to make sure I know who I’m working with. Not to be rude, but you seriously look like you’d be a handful.”

“A handful and then some.” Beetlejuice winked at Lydia.

“Annnnnnd this conversation is over.” Lydia stood up and left Beetlejuice in the photo.

“Oh come on! I was talking about my dick!”

“Augh!” Lydia covered her ears as she stalked out of the attic. “You have SERIOUSLY got to stop talking like that to me! I don’t want to hear it!” She shouted on her way back to Delia’s vanity to clean up the mess she had abandoned.

“Fucking stuck up bitch.” Beetlejuice crossed his arms and glowered out at the attic. “Sucks the fun out of everything.” He mumbled under his breath before slipping out to see what Lydia was doing.

All in all, that was probably the most fun Lydia had in a long time. Not that she was about to admit it to Beetlejuice though, she didn’t want to encourage him to try and scare her more often. The mirror trick with her mother had been interesting, but it didn’t prepare her for Beetlejuice’s true abilities, and she wasn’t too keen to find out what else he could do with his ‘limited’ ability.

Unfortunately, as Lydia had predicted, her photography session with Charles ended up being more about bird watching rather than the usual photo shoots she liked to do. Charles told her what he knew about certain birds they saw though, and he even took her out to lunch like he promised. He even got her ice cream, and some extra supplies for her photography, just to make the whole trip special.

Lydia was more than relieved though to finally return to the attic and her small darkroom. She spent a few hours working on some photos she wanted to give to Charles for his own personal collection, some of the best pictures she managed to get of the birds he liked to watch. The quiet process was one which Lydia enjoyed greatly, but it didn’t last very long.

“You doing chemistry or something?” Beetlejuice spoke from one of the hanging photos in front of Lydia. She couldn’t didn’t spare him a look as she worked on the finishing touches of her final picture.

“May as well be.” Lydia mumbled.

“Didn’t take you for a rocket scientist type.”

Lydia snorted.

“It’s really not that hard. Nor is it THAT advanced.”

“Looks like a bunch of magic to me.” Beetlejuice looked over the chemicals baths from his spot. “And I can actually, you know, DO magic.”

“If your magic looks anything like this, then I severely doubt it’s actually magic.” Lydia spoke monotonously and hung her final photo before finally looking at Beetlejuice.

“Let me out, and I’ll show you exactly what I can do.”

“Beetle-” Lydia caught herself before sighing heavily. “Can we not have this conversation again? We literally talked about this yesterday.”

“Whaaaattt? I’m Just. Sayin’.” Beetlejuice quickly defended himself. “I can conjure up some pretty cool shit, if you give me the chance.”

“You sound like a wizard.” Lydia rolled her eyes.

“Bah, those guys are losers. I can do the whole she-bang, they’re a limited load of shmucks.” Beetlejuice waved his hands. “I can conjure items, make new shit, summon people, evoke a feeling between your-”

“AGAIN!” Lydia interrupted Beetlejuice before he could finish his joke. “You’re doing it again! I am FIFTEEN. You’re a Creepy. DEAD. GUY!” Lydia turned and vacated the dark room without a second look. “Can’t you get through just one conversation without making some kind of innuendo or perverted joke?”

“You’re so DEMANDING.” Beetlejuice transported himself to the model in time to watch Lydia collapse onto the dusty couch. “First, I’m not allowed to entertain myself. Now, I can’t just talk and be myself. What’s next? You’ll want me to clean myself up and get rid of this moss that I’ve spent AGES growing out?” Lydia smacked her face and shook her head throughout Beetlejuice’s rant.

“I’m not saying to change yourself, just tone it down.” Lydia whined. “I’ve already spent YEARS hearing stupid dick jokes and seen more than enough crudely drawn penises in weird places!”

“Are you saying my sex jokes are stupid?” Beetlejuice scoffed. “I think half the shit I Come Up with is SIGNIFICANTLY better than anything some brat your age could dream of.”

“See that, THAT was stupid!” Lydia pointed at Beetlejuice with disbelief.

Beetlejuice just crossed his arms and glowered at Lydia.

“Some people just don’t got no sense of humor.” Beetlejuice mumbled before speaking up. “FINE. I’ll TONE it DOWN. But you owe me!” He pointed right back at Lydia. “I want photos in three more windows.”

“One.” Lydia barked back.

“TWO.” Beetlejuice snapped. “Or else I’ll greet you every morning with a new joke about penises.”

“You’d run out in a month.” Lydia challenged him. Beetlejuice smirked and adjusted the cuffs on his suit jacket.

“Challenge accepted.” He growled out.

“Why do I feel like I’m going to regret this?”

“Oh, I GUARANTEE, I’ll make you regret this.”

Monday morning, Lydia reluctantly got dressed in her school uniform and began to get ready for the day. Beetlejuice made his appearance as she brushed out her hair and worked on tying her new red ribbon into her locks in a way that would both satisfy Delia while still appealing to Lydia’s gothic sensibilities.

She could see the patient expression on Beetlejuice’s face while he waited in the reflection. Arms crossed, lips pursed as he watched her tie the ribbon off. Lydia sighed heavily and finally turned her gaze to him.

“Alright. Let me have it.”

“That’s what your mom told me last night.” Beetlejuice said monotonously, but a smirk already shone on his face. Lydia didn’t know if that was the joke he was planning on using today, but it still caught her off guard. Lydia slapped a hand over her eyes and sighed heavily.

“What? Too easy? She kind of was, to be honest.”

“And we’re off!” Lydia abruptly stood from her seat and grabbed her backpack. She wasn’t ready for school mentally, but it was far too early to be dealing with Beetlejuice’s shenanigans.

Tuesday morning, Lydia was already in the midst of brewing herself a pot of coffee before Beetlejuice popped into the reflection of the toaster. Lydia barely shot him a look over her cup of coffee before he shot off with a new joke.

“Ok, so what do you call a ghost with an erection?”

“Do I really have to be apart of this one?” This one sounded a little promising, but Lydia didn’t want to be the soundboard for every joke Beetlejuice decided to shoot off at her. Luckily, he didn’t seem to mind her lack of willingness to participate today.

“A BOOOOOO-ner!” Beetlejuice waggled his fingers at Lydia. She just shook her head at him and turned away to focus on her coffee.

“What have I done?” He was still laughing about it even as she left for school.

Wednesday morning, Lydia was actually awake and ready for his joke since she managed to wake up on time. She sat at the kitchen table for once, cereal at hand, looking over one of her textbooks for a quiz and waited patiently. Beetlejuice popped into the photo on the page and whistled to get Lydia’s attention.

“What do you get when you cross an owl and a rooster?”

“I don’t know, what?” Lydia shrugged before eating another bite of her cereal.

“A cock that stays up all night long!”

Lydia rolled her eyes at him.

“I don’t know whether I appreciate the dick jokes over your shitty pick up lines.” Lydia finally admitted.

Since Beetlejuice started making a point to tell Lydia a dick joke each morning, he stopped making innuendos and flirtations. It had both been a relief and a blessing as it gave Lydia something to actually look forward to each day aside from coming home from school. But since it hadn’t even been a week yet, Lydia wasn’t inclined to admit that to Beetlejuice. She’d make him work for his two photos for a few more weeks before she’d give in and put them up, especially since she didn’t even have a good photo for him to lounge in. But he didn’t need to know that.

“I’ve got a pick up line in my pants if you want one that badly.” Beetlejuice gestured to his crotch. Lydia rolled her eyes.

“Was that a handjob innuendo?”

“Yeah, but it was kind of a mouthful.” Beetlejuice answered quickly.

“I don’t know if I’d call a tic-tac a mouthful.” Lydia responded almost instantly. Beetlejuice seemed almost shocked for a moment before a wicked grin lit up his face.

“YOU WOUND ME!” Beetlejuice cackled. Lydia did her damndest to hide her smirk as she finished eating her breakfast and left for school.

Thursday morning, Lydia rushed to finish her english homework while she chugged down a hot chocolate for once. Beetlejuice shot the mug a confused look.

“I’m in a sweet mood this morning.” She explained quickly before taking a bite of toast and closing her workbook. Beetlejuice mouthed an ‘oh’ before shrugging and waving a hand to the side.

“Alright, you’ll like this one. I promise!”

“I’m not so sure about that.” Lydia smiled softly and watched Beetlejuice for his delivery.

“What do you call a woman who loves small dicks?”

“....” Lydia quirked an eyebrow and waited. She didn’t want to accidentally implicate herself for some stupid punch-line or anything like that.

“My next girlfriend!” If his expression was any sillier, Lydia would have laughed, and not because the joke itself was funny. He looked so excited and amused that it was almost cute in a sad way.

“Self deprecation, I’m surprised at you.” Lydia said with a monotonous tone before she began to pack up her backpack.

“I’m full of surprises...and semen.”

“And terrible jokes to boot.” Lydia didn’t even need to look at him to know that Beetlejuice was entirely unperturbed by her comment. He simply shrugged.

“Eh, not all of them can be winners!”

Friday morning, Lydia was finally forced to confront something that she had been doing her damndest to ignore. Beetlejuice was a wonderful distraction, though it was weird to admit that his jokes were the source of that current distraction at school. Instead of thinking about having to see Delia’s agent Bernard and other unwanted adults on Friday, she spent her time wondering what joke Beetlejuice was going to tell her next. When her thoughts wandered during class, she didn’t spend time anxiously considering how her evenings were going to go. Lydia, instead, considered some other gifts she might be able to give to the ghost once the photo options ran out.

But today was the day, and Lydia could no longer pretend that adult responsibilities outside of homework didn’t exist. Today’s dinner was supposed to be about Delia’s work, but what if the adults tried to turn it onto Lydia? Ask her uncomfortable questions she still didn’t know the answers to, nor wanted to answer.

Nervously, Lydia applied small amounts of her makeup, delaying her morning process in the subconscious hope that she could too delay the rest of the day. Maybe she could reschedule it to never. Make it disappear into the sands of time where she no longer had to worry about her father’s expectations and Delia’s pushy ways.

“Sorry I’m late, I had a fight with an erection this morning.” Beetlejuice said as soon as he popped into the mirror.

“Oh no,” Lydia already knew where this was going. She quickly put down the makeup, immediately regretting any thought that she might actually ENJOY these daily jokes.

“I beat it single handedly!”

“Oh NOOOOOO.” Lydia groaned into her hands and leaned forward. She let out a quiet snort when she peaked between her fingers and saw the expectant look on Beetlejuice’s face. “That’s so stupid!” She cried out to him.

“But you laughed!” Beetlejuice pointed a finger at Lydia.

“I can’t believe you said that!” She shook her head and quickly put away her makeup. She had wasted more than enough time this morning, and now she was going to have to skip breakfast.

“To be fair, I’m pretty sure I’ve said worse things.”

“No doubt about it,” Lydia quickly agreed.

Unfortunately, his joke wasn’t enough to keep Lydia’s anxiety at bay today. Her pleading to be excused from the dinner fell on deaf ears, Delia was already so stressed out that Lydia didn’t bother to pester the woman much on the subject. One short snap was all she needed to be silenced. So Lydia, reluctantly and hesitantly, stepped into Charles’ office before Otho was supposed to arrive.

“Daddy?” She spoke hesitantly. Charles nearly jumped in his seat and put his book down.

“Oh, I’m so sorry, it’s almost time isn’t it?” Lydia shook her head and wrung her hands.

“Well, yeah, but I actually wanted to talk to you about something.” Lydia didn’t approach the desk.

“Well, what is it sweetheart? I have to make sure that your mother isn’t losing her mind with stress.” Charles chuckled slightly. “You know how she is.”

_ Stepmother _. Lydia thought to herself.

Lydia took a deep breath and immediately caught the faint scent of smoke. A small flush of embarrassment flooded her cheeks as she realized that Beetlejuice must be watching the conversation. He was probably bugging Charles right before Lydia came in. She’d have to word this carefully if she didn’t want to hear him making fun of her later for being such a baby.

“Do I really need to be present for the entire thing?” Lydia’s voice threatened to crack, and she ended up speaking quietly. “It’s just, Bernard clearly doesn’t like me, and there’s pretty much nothing for me to do.”

Lydia worried briefly that she didn’t say it right when Charles gave her a startled look. He finally stood up and made his way over to Lydia, patting her shoulder as he stood next to her.

“This has really been bothering you all week, hasn’t it?” Lydia slightly nodded her head. She seriously wished that Beetlejuice wasn’t watching this right now.

“A little.” Lydia let Charles lead her out of the office. Charles continued speaking before Lydia could plead her case.

“Well, sweetie. I was really hoping that you’d stick around and watch, you might have to participate in dinners like these when you’re older, you know. Tell you what, stick around for dinner itself, and if you’re not feeling up to it, then you can go to your room for the rest of the evening. But ONLY if you’re not feeling up to it.”

Lydia nodded and let out a small sigh of relief.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll be honest with you guys, I did not go into this story planning dick jokes, it just sort of happened. Send me your best inappropriate jokes or your favorites from school!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beetlejuice isn't impressed by the dinner party, neither is Lydia, but she'll do what she has to in order to maintain the peace. Unfortunate for her that sometimes even the best intentions aren't rewarded with kind words. But hey, Beetlejuice loves giving advice. It's kind of his thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the day late update! I ended up getting shit faced drunk last night. Wasn't planning on that, but it just happened, and now i'm planning on not drinking any alcohol for at least another month because I feel just AWFUL. This is literally the sickest I've ever been.
> 
> Anyhow, let's just get to the chapter.

Lydia was more than thankful that the adults were all too distracted by their own conversations to notice Lydia and bother her. For now, she was like a ghost, and she could literally just sit and watch and scrutinize everyone’s behavior. Or rather, she would, if she wasn’t so distracted by the unfortunate presence of one particular ghost.

“BABE, this Party. Is. Snooze-ville.” Beetlejuice sat in the small reflection of Lydia’s cup. It was hard to makeout, but she could still clearly see his form. “Why don’t we liven things up a little bit?” He tilted his head aside and Lydia could only assume that he was wiggling his eyebrows at her.

“Lydia?” Otho held out a plate of, ok Lydia didn’t even know WHAT, to her.

“No thanks.” Lydia accidentally said it a little too forcefully. “I’m good, Otho.” Lydia noticed the look Charles shot to her from her right. She shrunk in on herself a little bit.

“Don’t get so stiff, Lyds.” Beetlejuice waved a hand. “Look.” The lights dimmed, one bulb flickered, and then everything went back to normal.

“Electrical problems?” Bernard asked Delia dryly. Delia let out a dry nervous laugh.

“Oh, probably just too many people using microwaves back in town.” Delia explained with that same strained smile she had been wearing all night.

The lights flickered again.

Bernard shot Delia a dry look.

“Hm, must be more microwaves.” Bernard’s wife giggled. Lydia looked down at her plate when she saw the light embarrassed flush appear on Delia’s face.

“Stop that.” Lydia whispered at Beetlejuice.

“Seriously, babe? They don’t think nothin’ of it.” Beetlejuice snickered. “Sad how even a little light flickering can make Dedee’s gears grind. She so tightly wound, ya’d think that Chewey over there wasn’t helping her loosen up every night.” Beetlejuice gestured to Charles. Lydia glared at the cup. “Watch this.”

“Stop.” Lydia felt her eye twitch before all of the lights went out for a moment. The back-up generator turned on and the lights flickered on once more.

“Oh wow. The whole town must have just gone out.” Charles spoke up suddenly. “But that’s what the back-up generator is for, I suppose. We heard that the winter season can get a little dicey sometimes with the power lines, so I had a new one installed. I can’t wait to see the snow though, I heard the snow and the town is absolutely gorgeous!” An excited flush appeared on his face as he explained.

Lydia missed the curious look Otho shot her as she cleared her throat.

“Excuse for a minute, please. I need to powder my nose.” Lydia spoke with the most polite tone she could muster despite her frustration.

“Alright dear, don’t take too long.” Delia spoke delicately. Lydia quickly made her way to the nearest bathroom. Behind her back, Otho studied the reflection of her mug out of the corner of his eye.

Lydia quickly shot the bathroom door behind her and glared into the mirror. She hissed out his name when she realized that he hadn’t followed her like she was hoping he would.

“Beetlejuice,” Lydia’s eye twitched as the ghost excitedly popped into her mirror.

“Two more babes!” He held his fingers up with a smirk.

“Beetlejuice, NO.” Lydia growled. “You seriously need to knock it off!” The ghost immediately deflated and put on his best pout.

“Oh, come on!” He whined. “We could really bring some fun to this shindig! Even I’M bored to death! And I’m already dead!”

“You can’t keep using that joke, you know.” Lydia crossed her arms and continued to glare at him.

“You can pry that joke from my cold, dead, hands.” Beetlejuice mimicked Lydia’s pose. Lydia sighed heavily.

“I get that you’re bored, but Delia is already about to lose it. She really needs this evening to go well, ok? I’ll make it up to you if you could Just. Behave.”

“You know, you keep saying that, but I’ve yet to see any more gifts for my good behavior. I’m starting to think that you’re just playing me.” Beetlejuice sniffed. Lydia rubbed her forehead.

“Well if I gave you everything you wanted immediately, then you wouldn’t have a reason to CONTINUE being good. One good deed is not a good enough reason to give you the keys to the town.” Lydia did her best to explain, it was like she was talking to a child and not a grown dead man. Beetlejuice scoffed.

“I guess you make a point babe. But I’m serious. I don’t like getting stringed along, so don’t think I won’t retaliate if you don’t actually give me anything to work with.”

“Ok, ok.” Lydia said quickly. “Thank you.” She dropped her arms and sighed softly.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” Beetlejuice continued to pout and looked away from Lydia.

Lydia finally vacated the bathroom, and she did feel a little bad. He didn’t have much to work with in the first place, and he really was trying his damndest to do what Lydia wanted while still having his own fun. For as gross and inappropriate as Beetlejuice liked to be, he still behaved better than most boys could be bothered to at Lydia’s old school.

As Lydia rejoined the dinner party, she found that the conversation had taken a strange and worrying turn.

“Well, I heard that Maxie Dean’s new wife is a FANATIC for the paranormal. If you can get solid proof of a haunting, she’d have them both down here in an instant!” Otho explained to a disturbingly excited Charles.

“What?” Lydia asked she entered the room.

“Otho was just explaining that country side homes like this one tend to be haunted.” Delia explained patiently. She took a sip from her glass. “I’m sure we would have noticed by now if our home was haunted, Otho. But that certainly does give us something to consider, now doesn’t it?” Otho disregarded Delia’s comment to turn towards Lydia as she reluctantly sat back down.

“Have you seen or heard anything strange? Cold spots, odd breezes perhaps?”

“What? We talking ghosts now?” Beetlejuice squealed with excitement as he finally came back to the room. “Oh my gosh, Lyds, tell them about me!”

“Um. no offense Otho, but this is kind of an old home. That’s kind of par for the course, no matter how much you redecorate.” Lydia explained.

“WHAT?” Beetlejuice screeched.

“Those aren’t the only signs of a haunting.” Otho began.

“The most strange and unusual thing in this house, is me.” Lydia cut him off before he could continue.

“I think I’d beat you there babe, not to brag or anything.” Beetlejuice quipped.

She could hear the indignation in his voice, but Lydia knew that performing a seance or anything of the sort with Beetlejuice around was a recipe for disaster. He was already harassing her for his freedom, what if someone other than Lydia accidentally let him out? They’d have no idea what they were in for.

Lydia was more than relieved when the normal portion of the dinner was finally finished. Beetlejuice had grown quiet since the ghost conversation, and even left as soon as everyone moved onto a new one. Even the thought of someone like Otho or Maxie Dean letting Beetlejuice out terrified her. He was a pervert, he took JOY from terrorizing people, and he all but implied that he was an agent of chaos that had to be contained because he goes too far.

What exactly would happen if one of them let Beetlejuice out? What would happen if even Lydia set Beetlejuice free? Someone could get hurt, or worse, Charles could die of a heart attack. It just wasn’t a risk Lydia wanted to take.

Lydia was more than relieved to slink away once dinner was over. The stress of containing Beetlejuice for the evening had more than worn her down, and Delia’s barely contained nervousness only heightened Lydia’s own anxiety. She had no idea how Charles was able to keep himself so composed when usually he’s the nervous wreck himself.

Quietly, Lydia opened the door to the attic and gasped as a quick rotten smelling wind knocked her hat off of her head.

“Hey,” Lydia said softly as she picked up her hat. She carried it and shut the attic door behind her. When Beetlejuice didn’t respond, she dragged the chair over to the model and sat down in front of him. “Thank you for behaving yourself.” She said with an even tone. Beetlejuice turned to face away from her with a grumble. Lydia frowned. “I’ll see about getting some new photos tomorrow, maybe you’d like a nice cemetery shot to hang out in?” Beetlejuice shot her a look over his shoulder and turned away again. “Ok! What’s your problem?” Lydia finally snapped with irritation.

“Why didn’t you tell them about me?” Beetlejuice finally spoke up. “Ya’ embarrassed by me or something?”

Lydia gaped at Beetlejuice for a moment. She let out a quiet huff that almost sounded like a laugh and shook her head.

“Are you kidding me? I didn’t tell them about you because I didn’t want to risk Maxie Dean or Otho letting you out. One’s a greedy rich tycoon, and the other is an idiot. No matter what, it’d be a disaster.”

Beetlejuice studied Lydia during her explanation. His frown slowly transformed into a leering grin as he turned to face her slowly. Lydia watched, exasperated, as his previously closed off stance turned into an open and even prideful one.

“Well, if you wanted to keep me for yourself, all ya had to do was say so!” Beetlejuice leered at Lydia. Lydia sighed heavily and shook her head.

“Not even close.”

“Nuh-uh! You don’t want anyone freeing me but yourself! To be honest, I’d prefer it if you were the one to free me anyway.” He waggled his eyebrows and straightened out the lapels of his suit.

“Why is that?” Lydia glowered down at Beetlejuice. He had gone through most of the week without bringing up the whole freedom subject, but tonight, it was inevitable. She’d at least entertain the idea with him since he did do mostly as she asked.

“Why’s what?”

“Why would you rather that I be the one to let you out?”

“Cuz you’re so cute!” Beetlejuice smirked.

“Tell me the truth.” Lydia spoke quickly. “You keep complaining that I’m too demanding, but you mostly do as I ask anyway. Why is that?”

Beetlejuice studied Lydia quietly for a moment. He seemed the be grinding his teeth as he contemplated his answer, but Lydia already knew that he probably wouldn’t tell her the whole thing. There just had to be an ulterior motive. Lydia had been lectured by more than enough adults, especially Charles, that boys usually only had one goal in mind when it came to girls.

She hardly doubted Beetlejuice was any different, but he had been far too open about his desires for sex for that to be the end goal. There had to be something else. Freedom, sure, but what was the cost for that freedom? Beetlejuice already denied his desire for Lydia’s soul, so it couldn’t be that.

“I’m bored, and you’re my best shot at freedom.” He finally answered quietly.

“Ok, but what does that entail, exactly?” Lydia asked just as quietly. “You keep saying that you can do something for me so long as I set you free, but there are rules usually, aren’t there? What are the rules?”

Beetlejuice studied Lydia for a moment longer. She felt the hairs on the back of her neck as the silence stretched on. For a moment, she swore that she could hear the faint sounds of laughter rise up from below.

“It’s not a permanent freedom.” Beetlejuice spoke carefully. “I can be put back.”

“That’s the curse on your name?” Beetlejuice nodded slowly.

“That’s...actually a little comforting.” Lydia finally admitted. Knowing that if the ghost got a little too crazy, she could immediately shut down his operation.

“Course, I’d still be limited in what I can do.” Beetlejuice continued to explain. “This house would still be considered my haunting territory, it’s not TRUE freedom.”

Lydia pursed her lips and thought about his words for a moment.

“If YOU make a proper deal with me, I could get access to all of my powers. The world would be your oyster.”

By now, Lydia could tell what most grins on Beetlejuice’s face meant; whether it be one he sprouted by thinking perverted thoughts, an amused one from a joke, or a malicious one because he was planning something. But this grin, it was hungry and excited. A TRUE freedom. A PROPER deal. What would something like that entail that was so different from the partial freedom he was begging Lydia for?

Did Lydia even want to know the answer to that?

“I don’t have a need to make a deal. But we might be able to work something out with the partial freedom thing.” Lydia finally stood up and put her chair back. She wanted some time to think about what Beetlejuice had told her, she didn’t think she could process anything more than this for the weekend.

Quietly, Lydia made her way back downstairs. She wanted to get a cup of water before she started getting ready for bed. But as she reached the bottom of the stairs, Lydia noticed that the party had already begun to wind down for the evening, much earlier than Delia had anticipated, actually. Charles seemed to be talking to Bernard’s wife in the front room, so where did that leave Delia and Bernard?

Lydia went to the kitchen, unnoticed by the two clearly buzzed adults, and stopped in the doorway.

“You’ve always been a flake Delia. Your sculptures just aren’t selling and you’re all dried up. At this point, you’re simply wasting my time.”

“But Bernard,”

“It’s over. I’ll be sending the necessary paperwork next week.” Bernard snapped and turned. Lydia froze in the doorway as both Bernard and Delia turned their gazes onto her.

“Good evening, Lydia. It was nice seeing you.” Bernard said stiffly before brushing past Lydia.

Delia turned away, wringing a towel in her hands as her eyes became watery. Lydia felt a wave of guilt and embarrassment. This was probably supposed to be a private conversation, and here Lydia came in to ruin it.

She knew that Delia had been struggling to grow her artistry and bring it to a new level. While her sales weren’t exactly bad, Bernard was always a hard man to please. He always found a way to put Delia or Lydia down whenever Charles wasn’t around to hear it, and today, it seemed like he really just took a cleaver to Delia’s ego. Lydia cautiously stepped further into the kitchen, hand raised, unsure of what to do.

“That’s not true, you know?” Lydia’s mouth became dry. She wanted to try and cheer up Delia, encourage her a little, and quickly thought of a few things to say. But Delia’s sharp response threw her off guard.

“Oh, what do you know?” Delia hissed. Lydia flinched back away from her. “You know nothing about art or business!”

“Well, I know that your statues are really neat and cool.” Lydia continued weakly. This isn’t what she was expecting at all.

Delia finally turned on to Lydia and gave her a stern look. “Well NEAT and COOL aren’t always going to be good enough. If I teach you one thing, Lydia, it’s that this world is a harsh difficult one. You’ll need to step up your game or else you’re never going to be successful!”

Delia stormed past Lydia in a huff and stormed up the stairs. Lydia looked down at the floor, tears in her eyes, and bit at her cheek. Beetlejuice whistled from the reflection of the toaster.

“HARSH!” He chuckled. “You know babe, it’s a shame she’s not a dead artist! Her statues would be really popular in the Neitherworld!”

Lydia shot him a glare before she finally grabbed herself a cup of water.

“But hey, artists are always so PRIDEFUL. You can’t tell them nothing they don’t want to hear, ya know? You would have been better off just leaving the Ditzy Mistress alone to wallow in her artistic sorrow!” Beetlejuice made air quotes at ‘artistic sorrow’ and then went back to crossing his arms while he lounged against the edge of the toaster.

“I don’t know why I bother with her.” Lydia hissed in response. The tears in her eyes threatened to blind her, so she quickly wiped them away.

Beetlejuice began to open his mouth, but Lydia turned and left the kitchen before she had to hear anymore of what he had to say. It was probably going to be mean, patronizing, or another bid for freedom. Lydia didn’t care to hear it right now anyway. But unlike her parents, Beetlejuice was tanacious for her attention, and followed Lydia to her bedroom.

He was already sitting in the reflection, relaxing on the chair, drumming his fingers on the table. By now, Lydia knew he was studying her, and she was done with talking to people for the night. She went to grab a shawl to cover the mirror when he finally spoke up.

“Whoah, whoah, hold your horses! Are you seriously that upset by her little outburst?” Beetlejuice held a hand up.

Lydia glared down at him as tears continued to push for their own freedom. Beetlejuice deflated a little bit. He sighed heavily.

“Come on kid, sit.” Lydia draped the shawl over the back of her chair and sat down. She crossed her arms and glared at the corner of the table away from Beetlejuice. “What’s the matter? Talk to your favorite ghost.”

A wry smile worked its way onto Lydia face as she thought about how Beetlejuice was Lydia’s ONLY ghost. But that also implied that he belonged to her, which was an odd thought. Most likely, he meant nothing by it.

“It’s nothing.” Lydia croaked finally. Beetlejuice watched her wipe a tear away.

“If it was nothing, then you wouldn’t be crying and sulking right now.”

“I’m not sulking!”

“If you’re not, then explain why you’re crying.”

Lydia seethed and shot Beetlejuice a glare. His patient expression met hers as he relaxed in the chair. There was no hint of a sarcastic or caustic remark on the horizon, so Lydia sighed heavily.

“She’s such an ass.” She finally spoke. “They want me so badly to see her as my mother, but she barely acts like it. She doesn’t give a shit about me, I’m just extra baggage that dad brought into their marriage to her.”

Beetlejuice hummed. Lydia knew he had something he wanted to say, but the calculating expression on his face said he wasn’t ready to speak up yet. He simply nodded and listened. Lydia took a small breath.

“It’s like, every time I make an effort, she just turns around to throw it into my face. I’m so sick and tired of trying with her, you know?”

Beetlejuice nodded once more. Lydia paused, and wondered whether or not he was going to actually say anything. There was no joke, pretty words, or attempts at manipulation for freedom. She swore he was going to tell her that Delia is trash and doesn’t deserve Lydia, maybe say that he could teach Delia a lesson for Lydia, or even remove Delia from Lydia’s life.

When Beetlejuice’s silence drone on for too long, Lydia studied him. He was just waiting, no twitching, or fidgeting. He was still, calm, waiting. Just waiting.

“You’re seriously not going to say anything?”

Beetlejuice smirked.

“What do you think I would say?” He raised his head slightly.

“I don’t know,” Lydia shrugged slightly. “I was honestly expecting you to try and get me to make a deal with you. Or beg me to let you out so that you could mess with Delia more.”

“Oh really,” The smirk on his face grew. Beetlejuice leaned forward and planted his hands squarely on the table. If he were physical like Lydia, and not trapped in the reflection of the mirror, Lydia suspects that they would have been nose to nose by this point. “Tell me,” he sounded far too pleased right now. “Is that what you want?” 

“No.” Lydia’s short tone cut out. Beetlejuice quickly settled back down into his seat and crossed his arms once more.

“Then there you have it.” He winked. “I bet you already got a plan in that pretty little head of yours.” Lydia bristled and glared Beetlejuice down. “So what is it? Gonna talk to daddy again? Bet you he’ll be useless. Last time, it was Delia that got you your camera back.” Beetlejuice pointed out.

“No. Nothing like that.” Lydia spoke softly. She didn’t realize that Beetlejuice knew about that. “I just figured that I’m wasting my time trying to be nice to her. I’m done making an effort for her. So I’ll just stop. Maybe go back to avoiding her like I used to.” Lydia bit her lip and looked away from Beetlejuice, back to the desk of the vanity.

“Solid plan spooks.” Beetlejuice grinned at Lydia normally now. “But allow an old ghost to give you some pro tips.” Lydia shook her head lightly.

“Ok, shook. Top three tips for giving someone the cold shoulder.” Lydia watched Beetlejuice as he flared up with excitement.

“Great! Now, tip one!” He leaned forward in his seat as he began his explanation. “Guilt is a great and terrible beast for those who allow themselves to be ruled by it! You might feel bad for giving Deals the cold shoulder, DON’T. Let HER feel bad instead. Gets better results.”

“Sounds like you’re teaching me how to guilt trip.” Lydia mumbled.

“I’m not great at those, but I could.” Beetlejuice wagged a finger at Lydia. “TIP TWO!” Lydia giggled and shook her head. “It’d be easier to completely avoid her, but how does she know that you’re not talking to her if she never sees you? At least once a day, you’ll need to be in her presence and ignore her. Otherwise, she and Charles will just think that you’re being a moody teenager who doesn’t want to spend time with her parents, which may be true, but cold shoulders are a whole different power move.”

Lydia nodded slightly.

“I usually see her at dinner at the very least, so that’ll be easy.”

“Tip Thhhhrrreeeee!” Beetlejuice held up the third finger. “You gotta make sure your acting chops are up to date! You gotta give her nothing, and I MEAN NOTHING, to work with! No smiles, no smirks, no frowns, no tears, nothing! Don’t flinch, look, or twitch in her general direction.”

“Ok.” Lydia began to wonder if this would be difficult to accomplish since she already kind of did stuff like this to begin with. Not entirely ignoring, per say, but the cold shoulder would just be another level to her normal behaviors. “How long do you think I should go for? A week?”

“Fuck if I know.” Beetlejuice shrugged. “Look, just so you know, silent treatments ain’t always gonna get you the response that you want. But that’s the risk we take in doing or saying literally anything. And even IF Delia breaks down and apologizes to you, you gotta understand that her words mean shit now. Words don’t mean nothin when you continue to do the same shit over and over again.”

Lydia nodded and sighed heavily. Maybe it was mean, but Beetlejuice was right. Delia might actually TRY to apologize to Lydia for her outburst, though Lydia doubted it. The woman really WAS self involved, after all. She probably would think that she was just doing Lydia another one of her useless favours.

By no means did Lydia sleep well that night. Come morning, she had already slept in far longer than Delia would usually accept. Lydia looked out her window after she finished getting dressed, and decided that today would be a good day to try and get some photos for Beetlejuice. If anyone would let her, that is.

Reluctantly, she made her way to Charles’ office. Lydia listened outside the door, waiting to see if Delia was perhaps already inside, before she knocked and opened the door. Charles was snoozing at his desk it seemed, instead of actually reading the newspaper in front of him.

“Daddy?” Charles jerked and righted himself.

“Yes sweetie?” He looked sheepish.

“Can I please go out today? I want to get some more pictures.” Lydia shrunk in on herself a little bit. If Charles would come today, it’d be fine. But she really didn’t want him to tell her to take Delia.

Charles nodded slightly.

“Yes, that’s fine sweetie. Go ahead and go, you’re not grounded anymore.” Lydia brightened up.

“Really!?” She rushed around the table to give him a hug.

“Yes, just don’t stay out too late!” Charles wheezed as Lydia hugged him tightly before turning to run out of the office.

“Thanks daddy!”

Lydia quickly retrieved her camera and supplies from the attic. Her wallet, a small purse, and her favorite sweater. Beetlejuice watched her from a photo, completely unimpressed.

“What’s got you so excited?” He growled out. He almost sounded like he just woke up and was in a grouchy mood. Did ghosts even sleep?

“Dad said that I can go by myself to take photos today!” Lydia explained.

Beetlejuice glowered at Lydia before turning away in a huff.

“Must be nice.”

Lydia hung the camera strap around her neck and bit her lip. Beetlejuice HAD been really good this past week, she didn’t know about releasing him just yet, but they could at least try something.

“Do you want to come with?” Lydia asked hesitantly.

“You seriously planning on setting me free for a photo session?” Beetlejuice turned back, quirking an eyebrow at Lydia. But she could see the grin fighting to emerge on his face.

“Well, maybe not free free. But if you’re riding on my shoulder, do you think you’d be able to leave the house? Inhabitants technically count as apart of the haunting territory thing you mentioned, right?”

Beetlejuice studied Lydia.

“Why do you think that I’d want to ride on your shoulder? I’d much rather hang out in your bra.” He leered.

“No!” Lydia flushed. “But I was planning on getting some photos for you today, jackass! I just thought you’d might like to have some input was all, but if you don’t want to try to get out of the house for a little while, then just stay there and be a grouch.” She grit her teeth in frustration.

Beetlejuice disappeared from the photo.

“Well, come on then!” He called from over on the model. He stood on top of the replica of Lydia’s house. “Let’s give it a whirl!”

Lydia rolled her eyes and went to grab him.

“Hey! Hey!” Beetlejuice growled and batted her her hand. “No man-handling!”

“Oh, sorry.” Lydia held her hand flat next to him instead. He quickly stepped onto the palm of her hand. She held him up so she could look him squarely in the eyes. “Shoulder only, ok? If it doesn’t work out, I’ll put you in my sweater’s pocket instead or something. But no going anywhere inappropriate!”

Beetlejuice rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, yeah, sure, whatever.”

Lydia held her hand so that Beetlejuice could step onto her shoulder, and let him get comfortable before she made her way out of the house. She did her best to keep her gait smooth and steady so as not to rock him too much. Beetlejuice didn’t complain either way. They both held their breath as Lydia left the front door and took a cautious step down off of the porch.

When Beetlejuice didn’t vanish, they both let out a breath.

“Oh! I almost forgot!” Beetlejuice finally spoke up. “What do you get when you cross a penis and a potato? A dicktator!”

Lydia’s groan quickly burst into a fit of giggles.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lydia continues to do her best at giving Delia the cold shoulder, which would be fine and dandy if Delia wasn’t so skilled at being irritating. Charles is certainly no help either. How many thorns can Lydia take before they start to take their toll?

“You know, babe.” Beetlejuice chimed in while Lydia was focusing on getting a good shot of a massive spider web she found.

She didn’t know what species the spider was, but the yellow and tan bulbous body made for a tantalizing shot, and the wad of webbing containing its prey created a perfect balance. The glistening web clashed with the dark wall behind the web, and if Lydia angled it just right, she might be able to capture a cool light flare in it as well. All it would take is some patience and the perfect angle.

“I could probably help you get some even cooler shots, if that’s what you’re looking for.” Beetlejuice had been content to just sit and relax. Lydia suspected that he was more than entranced by the experience of being out of the house, and she wondered just how long he had been contained for.

“Oh yeah?” Lydia asked as she snapped the picture finally. “Got any examples?”

Beetlejuice snorted.

“Well, for starters, ghosts don’t show up on film. I could make things float, EASILY. Plus, if I have access to my powers, I can make some pretty freaky shit.” Beetlejuice snapped. “It’s a ‘have to see it’ kind of thing.”

“Sounds cool.” Lydia mumbled and continued her way past the abandoned shack. She ended up taking a long route around the outskirts of town instead of visiting the cemetery, per Beetlejuice’s request. “What else you got for me?”

Beetlejuice choked on his breath. Lydia caught the fresh scent of smoke and figured that he just started smoking again. She started to wonder what the point of smoking was if he’s already dead. Did corpses need to breath? Eat? Could they feel things the way they used to when they were alive? Would the nicotine give him a rush the way it would a living human?

“Well, if we made a proper deal, I could take you literally anywhere. Australia has some pretty freaky shit, you’d LOVE their spiders.” He snickered.

“What about the Neitherworld?” Lydia asked. “You mentioned it last night.” She explained when Beetlejuice remained quiet for far too long.

“Yeah, I could take you there too. Though it’s extremely dangerous for a breather to go there. All of the occupants in the Neitherworld are dead, so we have no need for regular safety features like proper city planning.” Beetlejuice snorted. “That being said, it is essentially a ghost dimension, so I don’t know if any of your photos there would even come out.”

“It’d be worth a try, I think.” Lydia hummed and easily made her way down the rocky path down the side of the banks towards the Winter River. She had yet to explore the river banks, and decided that now would be the perfect time to do so.

“I could take you…” Beetlejuice said slowly. “But,”

“But we’d have to make a special deal for that. Simple freedom wouldn’t enable you full access to your powers.” Lydia cut Beetlejuice off. “I got it. Just thinking about it.”

Beetlejuice grumbled under his breath. Lydia sat and relaxed, watching the rushing waters calmly, enjoying the serenity of nature.

“You know, the losers that lived in your house before you drowned in this river.” Beetlejuice spoke up once he got bored of the silence.

“Yeah, I know. The Maitlands had an accident on the bridge and their car went over.” Lydia responded quietly. “I wondered if they were haunting the bridge. Maybe we could go look later?”

“That’d be a shitty haunting ground.” Beetlejuice mumbled. “Usually, deaths like that would be relegated to their house. Especially since they were literally on their way home when it happened. It was kind of a kick in the nuts when they didn’t end up there.”

Lydia hummed.

“Why’s that?”

“Think about it.” Beetlejuice started off. Lydia finally stood up to continue her walk along the river. “If you’re haunting a bridge, you’ve got no bed, no room, no amenities that you were used to having in life. Plus, bridges are one of the most transitional places I could think of haunting. Nothing there is permanent, not even the bridge itself. Land could be washed away, bridges destroyed, no one ever goes to a bridge just to stay. They’d have no one to talk to or spy on. Just cars passing by forever.”

Lydia recounted how many photos she had taken in the past few hours and climbed back up to the main road. She decided that she had spent more than enough time outside today, and decided to start heading back home.

“You’re right, that does sound terrible.” She said. “That’s all the more reason that we should see if we can find them at the bridge!” Beetlejuice groaned.

“Lyds, we don’t even know if they’re actually there! They might be in the Neitherworld, for all we know!”

“It doesn’t hurt to check.” Lydia’s tone implied that no matter what Beetlejuice told her, it wouldn’t change her mind.

Lydia’s excitement grew as the bridge was finally within her view. She began to chatter on to Beetlejuice about what the Maitlands might look like. Would they be soaking wet? Deformed? Or would they look like how they did in life?

Beetlejuice remained quiet throughout her little tirade. Perhaps he was a little irritated over the slight bounce in Lydia’s step, but she couldn’t help it. He was the only ghost she had ever actually met, and she couldn’t wait to see more! Lydia wanted to know if they were all like Beetlejuice, or if he was just a special case.

Lydia took a few photos around the bridge. She inspected the cracks, studied the surface of the water, and stared hard as she tried to reach out with her senses. At first, she hoped that she might be able to sense them like she did Beetlejuice, but he was also an oddly powerful poltergeist, so perhaps he really was an outlier that shouldn’t be counted.

“They’re not here babe.” Beetlejuice finally spoke with a sigh. “I would have sensed them if they were.”

Lydia tried to not pout, but she was really excited about meeting more ghosts. Beetlejuice must have noticed her dismay from her shoulder.

“Hey, don’t let it get you down. I’ll introduce you to some more ghosts some day, if that’s what you really want.” Beetlejuice patted her shoulder, which really just felt like a poke since he was so small.

“You know a lot?”

“Of course I do! I’ve been around the bend more times than I can count!” Beetlejuice puffed up in pride. “Lost count of how many suckers I’ve helped out over the ages. Some still owe me favors too!”

“Someday?” Lydia didn’t think she was ready to meet any ghosts that Beetlejuice might know just yet, especially since it implied that they’d made a proper deal in order for that to happen.

“Someday.” Beetlejuice nodded

"How are you doing, honey?" Charles sneaked a kiss on Delia's cheek while she stared listlessly out the kitchen window. He already knew about Bernard's harsh words last night, so he didn't expect any kind of positive response.

"Lydia went out today?" Delia asked instead of answering. She turned to face Charles and leaned on the counter.

"I let her go take photos by herself. Figured that there was no reason to punish her any longer."

Delia nodded quietly. She refrained from speaking as they heard the creak of wood and clunky footsteps. The front door opened.

"Dad, I'm back!" Lydia shouted. She appeared in the kitchen and grabbed herself a cup of water. “I found this really nice path that follows the river outside town. I'll have to take my bike next time!" Lydia spoke cheerfully. "Welp, I'll be in the darkroom if you need me!"

"Why don't you have lunch with us before you go?" Charles asked hesitantly as he immediately felt the awkward energy that now stifled the kitchen.

"No thanks! Not hungry!" Lydia eagerly bounded from the room without a second look.

Delia sighed heavily and turned away too.

"I better start looking for a new agent." Delia spoke sadly.

"Was it me, or was she acting a little weird?" Charles couldn't place his finger on what exactly that interaction reminded him of. Lydia seemed so cheerful, but it was unsettling and felt completely off.

"It's my fault." Delia finally confessed. She hung around the doorway, peering down the hallway. "I yelled at her last night when all she was trying to do was cheer me up. Just leave her alone for now, she'll come around eventually."

Delia finally left. Charles frowned at the empty doorway before he let out a heavy sigh and turned back to the sink. Disappointed, he began to prepare a cup of tea as a distraction to his nerves. This was exactly like those first few months when Lydia first met Delia and learned of her involvement with Charles. It took ages to get Lydia to speak normally to Delia without anyone forcing her into it. This was Lydia's exact formula whenever she was angry with Delia, cold shoulder and all. Hopefully, it would only last a few days this time. Charles' nerves might not be able to handle all this drama.

Beetlejuice bounced on the photographed spiderweb that Lydia put up in her bedroom window. It wasn't an amazing view, by any means, but the growth in options certainly made him content enough to not complain. Although it's not like he would have, Lydia already yelled at him earlier for being too distracting while she was trying to finish her homework.

Have no doubt, Beetlejuice was bored beyond belief. Juiced beers and crunchy bugs could only entertain him for so long. Even his little bachelors pad hidden inside the model no longer appealed to him as a decent hangout spot.

Beetlejuice sighed heavily and gazed at the stars that now hung in the sky. He remained quiet even as the bedroom door opened far later than it should have. As light as her footsteps were, Beetlejuice could still tell that it was Lydia sneaking into her bedroom at this late hour.

"Chuck came by over an hour ago to tell ya goodnight." Beetlejuice informed her without moving from his spot. "Did he even realize that you were still in the attic?"

"I blocked out the cracks so that they couldn't see the desk light." Lydia whispered tiredly. Beetlejuice heard the ruffling of cloth as she began to get ready for bed.

"I didn't think I was being THAT distracting." Beetlejuice resisted the urge to sneak a peek. Knowing his luck, she'd notice immediately, and he'd be back to being number one on Lydia's shit list.

"No, it's not your fault." Lydia yawned. "I just got to thinking about something and couldn't get myself to focus." Beetlejuice belted out a scoff of a laugh.

"So sending me away was pointless, then."

"Yeah, I should have just hunted you down to ask the questions, but I didn't want to get even more distracted than I already was."

"Just like your father," Beetlejuice mumbled to himself. He heard the creak of the bed and finally went to her mirror to look at her properly. "What was the question?" He wasn't at all perturbed that Lydia was already curled up. She looked like she was seconds away from passing out, so it surprised him when she actually spoke up.

"If I go to the cemetery and summon you, are you trapped in the cemetery, or can you roam the town?"

Beetlejuice smirked and shook his head. Now he understood why Lydia didn't want to ask him earlier when she was supposed to be focusing on homework. It certainly would have been a rabbit hole to go down. She was thinking about letting him out for a while, how sweet.

"That's an excellent question." He said quietly. He could tell by the slow rise and fall of the sheets that Lydia was actually asleep now.

Beetlejuice smirked and quietly shook his head. Little by little, he was growing on her. Soon enough, not even Chuck would be number one in Lydia's book, and then it was only a matter of time before he could get the freedom that he so desired. He just needed to play nice for a little bit longer. Make her think she had control over his actions in any meaningful way.

Lydia regretted many things about her life come Monday morning. She regretted getting so easily distracted on Sunday and staying up late to catch up on homework. Lydia regretted hitting her snooze button and trying to sleep in. Most of all though, she regretted rushing out of the house to escape Delia.

Delia, for once, didn't sleep in on Monday. She got up before Lydia, prepared breakfast and hot chocolate, and even gently woke Lydia up with the scent of burnt bacon. Apology bacon, the worst kind of temptation.

"Lydia, please come have breakfast with me." Delia spoke gently once Lydia roused enough to jump out of bed and grab her uniform. Delia stood awkwardly in the middle of Lydia's room, all but begging Lydia to acknowledge her. "I know you're mad at me still, and you have every right to be, but we need to move on from this fight. Your poor father is already stressed out enough as is." Lydia finally shot Delia a glare before retreating to the bathroom to get ready in peace.

Delia stood outside the door and continued to speak. Lydia furiously skipped most of her makeup routine since she left it all on the vanity where Delia could hover over her, and she didn't even take a moment to tie a ribbon in her hair, nor get herself a cup of coffee, before she darted out of the house and rode away on her bike. Delia sighed heavily and sulked at the kitchen table once she realized that she wouldn't be getting through to Lydia today.

Lydia didn't know what pissed her off more. The interruption of her usual morning routine with Beetlejuice, Delia's hovering, or the fact that Lydia was now starving and exhausted with no food or caffeine in her system. So far, the only saving grace of her morning was the small coffee shop that was luckily open each morning, except for Sundays.

But this would be the only saving grace of Lydia's day. A failed math test was one thing, Lydia was used to poor test results by now. But loneliness weighed heavily on her soul as she ate lunch alone once more. No one wanted to talk to her, no one spared her a glance, unless it was in response to a cruel comment, nobody really gave Lydia the time of day here. It was actually soul-crushing just how much she missed Beetlejuice, worse so when she realized that she didn't even get to hear today's shitty joke because of Delia.

Lydia purchased some snacks and hid them in her backpack before she made her way back home. Somehow, she managed to make it without much trouble, but the bike ride took whatever was left of her energy. Avoiding the creakier steps in on the front porch and inside the house was hellish, but luckily Lydia managed to make it up to the attic without being heard. A guffaw muffled by Charles’ closed office door was the remaining thing Lydia heard before she shut the door and sighed heavily.

Exhausted, Lydia dropped herself onto the dusty and relaxed in the temporary silence. As expected though, it didn’t last very long once a certain someone noticed her presence.

“Your dad has been on the phone nearly ALL. DAY.” Beetlejuice griped from somewhere in the room, Lydia couldn’t be bothered to look. “Plus, you BAILED before I could tell you my joke today, which totally doesn’t count towards our bet.”

“You could just tell me it now, if you’ve got one.”

“Babe, OF COURSE I have one!”

Lydia smiled faintly and waved her hand out gently.

“Well then, let’s hear it.”

“How do you bring a man back from the dead? You suck on his dick until he cums back.”

“Ok, you’re banned from ever performing first aid.” Lydia pushed herself back up into a proper seating position and grabbed her backpack. She finally pulled out her snacks and cracked the bag of chips open.

“But nothing makes a guy feel better than a good blow job!”

“Blow jobs won’t fix a snapped dick.” Lydia looked up and saw Beetlejuice sitting along the edge of the model.

She considered getting a side table to put a photo onto that way he wouldn’t have to be so far away. Although, simply giving him his freedom WOULD make more sense. For now, Lydia liked having the extra excuse for photo shoots, not that she ever needed one.

Beetlejuice flinched and covered his crotch.

“You’re vicious!”

“I grew up in New York,” Lydia shrugged. “They teach kids a lot of stuff about stranger danger, street smarts, the like.”

Beetlejuice hummed and remained quiet for a moment as he studied Lydia from afar.

“Why’d you run out this morning anyway? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you so quick to escape this place.”

“Delia,” Lydia sighed heavily. “She was trying to make it up to me without ever actually apologizing.” Lydia took a few chips and began to gnaw away at them. “She was so annoying! She said that we had to get along for my dad’s health, which I get, but that’s still not an apology! Literally all she had to say was, ‘I’m sorry for yelling at you, I was very upset, but that doesn’t make it ok.’ or something like that!”

“Adults don’t apologize to kids.” Beetlejuice shook his head and crossed his arms like it was a damn shame. “They’re wrong so often, but they think it’d undermine their authority to acknowledge that they were wrong. Now ME, personally, I just don’t give a shit. I won’t apologize because I’m not sorry.”

Lydia glared Beetlejuice down.

“You should try it more, make a point to actually CARE and be decent. People might like you more if you tried. Might even not keep you chained up like this.” Lydia gestured to him and then switched to some cookies.

Beetlejuice turned his head away and ground his teeth together as he thought about it.

“Naaawww, fuck ‘em.” Lydia watched him with her well practiced, unimpressed expression. “I’m still not going to apologize for getting you grounded. So if that’s what you’re looking for, tough shit.”

Lydia snorted.

“You pay more attention than you let on if you’ve realized that I’m still irritated about that.”

“Nope! I just know women!” Beetlejuice boasted and finally turned back to Lydia. “You all like to hold grudges for centuries!”

“Maybe they wouldn’t if you actually apologized to them properly.”

“No thanks, I’m good. I like the mischief!”

“Of course you do.” Lydia rolled her eyes and looked down to her backpack once more. She let out a groan and returned to her lounged position on the couch.

Beetlejuice watched quietly for a moment before he finally decided to speak up.

“Don’t you got homework? You’re gonna be up all night long again if you don’t get started on it soon.”

Lydia let out another loud groan to really emphasize her distaste. She covered her face with an arm.

“I don’t WANT to. It’s all MATH again. Plus, the teacher says that if I don’t do better, then next year is going to be even more difficult!”

“Roses are red, violets are too, math is really hard, and I am too.”

“You already told your joke today!” Lydia hissed and removed her arm so that she could glare at Beetlejuice.

“Too bad! Your parents were so unbelievably BORING today.”

“Oh please, they’re probably the same as every other day.”

“No! NO!” Beetlejuice stood and waggled a finger towards Lydia. “Chucker-ella wouldn’t stop making phone calls, I even spent some extra energy to fuck the connection and cut off the call, but he got it fixed real quick! And Delilah would NOT. STOP. MOPING. Around! I couldn’t get any entertainment out of them!”

“Who was he talking to?” Lydia ignored the part about Delia moping. She honestly could care less about Delia’s feelings since the film of anger still covered the Delia topic.

“How should I know! He wouldn’t stop talking up the town and mentioned a Max Deen guy a few times.”

“Maxie Dean.” Lydia rolled her eyes and sighed heavily. “He’s the rich guy I mentioned the other night.”

Beetlejuice nodded his head, although Lydia doubted that he actually remembered what she told him. It was probably for the best, however. Still, the knowledge that Charles was still obsessively pursuing the Maxie Dean angle wasn’t encouraging for his own condition, not one bit. Lydia relaxed on the couch and at one point even fell asleep. But the creaking of steps leading up to the attic alerted her to an incoming unwanted visit.

Lydia was barely awake once the knock on the door rung out. Charles pushed it open and looked around the room, he shot Lydia a meek smile and wearily stepped into the attic.

“Sorry sweetie, didn’t mean to wake you.” He said with that false cheer that Lydia knew meant he was smothering down his own stress.

“It’s ok daddy, I didn’t realize I had fallen asleep.” Lydia lied and finally stood up. Charles nodded and stepped over to the model and slowly made his way around it, inspecting the masterpiece.

“This is really quite an astounding piece of work.” Charles complimented. “I just wish I could bring it down to the first floor so that I could look at it more easily. Your mother would destroy it in seconds, probably, if I did that.” He admitted. “But maybe she’ll allow it for when Maxie Dean comes down. He’d appreciate something as well crafted as this.”

“When is Maxie Dean coming down?” Lydia asked hesitantly. She didn’t think that Charles would actually entice the busy man into a visit.

“Soon! Well, hopefully sooner rather than later. But it’s no matter! I’ll get him, eventually. And if not Maxie Dean, then another wonderful investor!” Charles huffed and poked at a small building with a small anxious smile.

Lydia swallowed heavily as she watched Beetlejuice appraise her father with a sneer.

“Don’t worry about it Daddy, there’s no need to rush everything.” Lydia said carefully.

“Chances are, he’ll work himself to death!” Beetlejuice all but barked out at Charles who clearly couldn’t see the ghost. “The shmuchs downstairs would LOVE him.”

“Please, just stop stressing yourself out so much, Daddy.” Lydia stepped forward and grabbed at Charls’s sleeve. He paused in his poking and prodding to look at Lydia. “You make me worry when you’re like this.”

Charles frowned and removed his arm. He patted Lydia’s head.

“You’re not supposed to worry about me sweetie, that’s my job!” He tried to reassure Lydia with another nervous smile.

“I’d worry less if you weren’t so hard headed about it.” Lydia mumbled, but Charles heard her.

“Please, we all know you got your hard headed tendencies from -” Charles flinched and grit his teeth. “Why, even now, you and Delia are STILL fighting about something silly, I’m sure. Not to mention, you hide out up here all day when you’re not at school or taking photos. Have you even tried to make any friends yet?”

“Delia’s the one who yelled at me and hasn’t even apologized about it!” Lydia felt the hairs on the back of her neck shift. Charles reared back at Lydia’s tone with surprise. “And I made a friend!” Her hand clenched and her breath struggled to stop the words as they came out of her mouth, but it was too late. The embarrassed flush rose up to her cheeks as Beetlejuice whistled from below at the show. At some point, he got himself some popcorn and soda to snack on while he watched the show.

“FEI-STY!” He hollered. “Now THIS is the KIND OF CRAP I’d pay to see!”

Lydia gaped at Charles as he appraised her with shock and mild indignation.

“Did she even tell you that I tried to cheer her up after Bernard ripped her a new one and she just yelled at me and pretended like she was giving me some great life advice?”

“Oh honey, you know she didn’t mean to yell. Why must you be hard on her?”

Lydia frowned at Charles. He didn’t care. He didn’t want to listen to whatever Lydia had to say.

“She’s not my mother. She’ll never be. I’ll be polite, but you can’t just place another woman in my life to replace the one I’ve lost.” Lydia’s eyes fluttered and turned on her heels. She quickly left the attic with Beetlejuice’s whistle trailing after her. If Charles tried to say something, she didn’t hear it.

Tears pricked at her eyes as she quickly changed. Lydia put a few materials into her favorite book bag and slung it over her shoulder. Now, Lydia all but charged out of the house, barely yelling out that she was going for a walk as the front door shut behind her. She nearly jumped out of her skin as a voice on her shoulder spoke up in the middle of her bike ride.

“So, where we going?”

“Beetlejuice?” Lydia cried and slowed her bike down momentarily.

“Yeeeessss?” Beetlejuice’s tone spoke of innocence, but the snicker following the word told Lydia that he was far too pleased with her surprise.

Lydia pulled her bike off to the side of the road and readjusted her position on the bike.

“How’d you get on my shoulder?” She would have glared at him if she could.

“Well, I noticed you were going out, so I hopped on.”

“Of course,” Lydia rolled her eyes and continued to bike down the path.

“So, where we going?” Beetlejuice asked again. He tugged on Lydia’s hair slightly and she glowered at the road.

“Don’t do that.” She barked. “I was going to read at the cemetery for a while and avoid life responsibilities.”

“Sounds like a date!” Beetlejuice snapped.

“No, it was SUPPOSED to be quiet time.”

“Baaahh, now that’s just boring. Not even the dead are silent. All they do is bitch and bemoan their fate. No sense of fun.” Beetlejuice waved his hand and rolled his head. “So, tell me about your new friend!”

Lydia grit her teeth and cursed her loose lips. She never felt inclined to lie to Charles about her lack of friends, she honestly could care less about it on most days, so there really was no point in lying to him today about it. But that was the worst part, because deep down, Lydia has really grown to acknowledge someone as a friend. Worst of all, it was Beetlejuice that she thought of as a friend.

Beetlejuice is, undoubtedly, the LAST person in Winter River that Lydia should ever consider as a friend. If she ever told him the truth, he would never let her live it down. EVER. No. That was a line Lydia knew better than to cross. Letting him know that he had somehow dug his way under her skin like that may as well be admitting defeat to the obnoxious ghost.

“What new friend?” Lydia asked. She let herself sound distracted and bored since she was mostly trying to focus on the path she took to her current favorite spot. The cemetery was always so nice and silent, not nearly as still as the dead themselves, but close to it.

“The one you told Chuck about.”

“Oh, that was a lie.” Lydia turned and made her way through the archway into the cemetery.

“You. LIED to Chuck?” Beetlejuice’s disbelief was loud and clear. “Naw, I don’t believe that shit for a moment.”

“Well I did. I haven’t made a friend at school yet.” Lydia wrinkled her nose. “Kind of hard to when everyone is either too afraid or too busy sucking up to Claire.”

“Who the fuck is Claire?”

Lydia sighed heavily. She knew that this was a topic that might properly distract Beetlejuice, but a part of her wondered if it was a mistake to tell him anything about school. Naming Claire might actually put the other girl in danger, but so long as Beetlejuice had no access to her, she’d probably be fine.

“Just the town’s cliche spoiled rich girl. Her daddy owns something or another and throws around a lot of cash, so she gets to do basically whatever she wants to. Whomever doesn’t bend to her whims usually becomes a target. Locker shoving, ignoring, teasing, the usual tedious teenage bully tactics.”

Beetlejuice hummed.

“So what does this all have to do with you? You didn’t bend over to kiss her feet and now she’s got most of the school against you, while the rest are too afraid to stand up for you or be your friend?”

Lydia shrugged. She slowed her bike down to a stop and hopped off. Slowly, she walked it the rest of the way to her favorite bench and put the kickstand down. Beetlejuice almost immediately understood what Lydia vaguely explained, and it was almost disturbing just how quickly he caught on. If Beetlejuice hadn’t already given numerous indications towards his own intelligence, this certainly would.

She’d never thought of it before. Super specialized hauntings playing on a person’s fears took research and ingenuity. His eye for details, not to mention his uncanny ability to read people, were that of a highly intelligent and experienced individual. Now, Lydia wasn’t even totally sure he bought her whole ‘I don’t actually have a new friend’ lie. She specified that she didn’t have a new friend at school specifically to work around that, but knowing Beetlejuice, he probably caught that too! At least this was a subject that could temporarily distract him, and hopefully, make him forget about the original topic. Finally, she settled herself down on the bench.

“Not everyone’s like that.” Lydia began. “Most just ignore me. A few teachers might notice the behavior, but I think only one actively ignores how Claire talks about me. Otherwise, the rest just don’t seem to know about it.”

Beetlejuice scoffed.

“Oh please, those monkey wranglers spend over eight hours with thirty plus of you kids five days of the week. Your drama is their entertainment, I guarantee it!”

Lydia frowned as she dug around her bag and finally pulled out the small book she had to read for english. It wasn’t due anytime soon, but Lydia figured that it wouldn’t hurt to be ahead in the class since reading was such a light and easy subject. All it took was some attention and time.

Beetlejuice quieted as Lydia opened the book to her current page, but Lydia hadn’t actually started reading yet. She bit her lip and frowned as she thought about what he just said. It made quite a bit of sense, unfortunately. But if that were the truth, then that meant that truly no one would ever come to her aide, to be her friend, or otherwise be a true friendly face at school. Everyone was against her, and if they weren’t actively against her, then they were basically accomplices. Teachers and all.

Which honestly was fine, if it didn't remind Lydia of her conversation with Charles. He didn’t seem to care that Delia lashed out at Lydia and refused to apologize. If Lydia had been the one to say such rude things, they’d ground her for being so disrespectful! But since Delia had been the one to once again lash out at Lydia, naturally, Charles would turn a blind eye.

A flash of rage and indignation coursed through Lydia as she recalled that Delia had never even apologized for yelling at her about her workspace getting trashed. Sure, that was Beetlejuice’s fault, and sure, nobody even believed Lydia about him, but Delia’s own temper tantrums were just ridiculous! Even when they first moved in, Charles let her decimate what nice country victorian aesthetic the inside held and morphed it into an artistic monstrosity.

Time and time again, Delia got to do whatever she wanted to. Just like how Claire Brewster would continue to get away with whatever she wanted. Lydia just wanted to be left alone to her own devices, but instead, she’s forced to suffer under such miserable spoiled souls.

“You know, I could teach them all a lesson for you…” Beetlejuice drawled quietly after Lydia had stared at the same page for far too long. He must have noticed how her hand clenched the book, and how her teeth grit as the rage threatened to overflow. “Make you top bitch. Fuck, if it weren’t for that brat, you probably would have been the most popular girl in the school already!”

“I don’t want that.”

“What? You saying you don’t want friends at school? You LIKE being bullied?”

“NO! I just,” Lydia took a deep breath through her nose. “I just don’t care about being popular. I don’t care if nobody there wants to be my friend. I would just like to be left alone.”

“Aw, come on kid. Let me tell ya, I get the whole having space thing. I do. It’s great when you just wanna watch porn and jack off for hours. But that shit gets lonely REAL fast. You gotta at least have a FEW people to talk to.”

“I already talk to you.” Lydia muttered moodily. “Whether I want to or not.”

“That’s so sweet, I can feel my teeth rotting from the sugar.” Beetlejuice murmured into Lydia’s ear.

“Augh!” Lydia flinched from the sound of him being so close. “Don’t do that!” She shivered and slammed her book shut. Beetlejuice scoffed in response.

“I literally have no choice, babe! I’m stuck on your shoulder like a parrot!” Beetlejuice seethed. “If you’d let me out, I wouldn’t have to speak directly into your ear.” He made sure to speak into her ear again, just to drive his point home.

“Just sit on the bench then!”

“Hell no! I have no way of knowing whether or not the bench counts as haunting territory or not, even if you’re sitting next to me!” Beetlejuice made an ‘x’ with his arms. “The only way I’d be able to do that is if you let me out for a little while!”

Lydia sighed and rolled her eyes.

“That’s all you care about, your freedom.” She slapped her book shut in frustration. Lydia paid no mind to the rise in volume of her voice as they continued to argue.

“You can’t pretend like you don’t want the same thing! Even if you phrase it as being left alone, you still want your freedom from those idiots!”

“So what, I let you out just so that you can leave me alone and you go terrorize the town for a few hours? I’m not having that on my conscience.” Lydia slammed her book down onto the bench next to her as she stared off into the cemetery. It was a little weird, arguing with someone who you couldn’t even see because they were sitting on your shoulder.

“Why do you care? It’s not even your problem! You’re just a kid, as you so ELOQUENTLY phrased it.”

“Just because I’m a child, BEETLEJUICE, doesn’t mean that I’m not responsible for what my actions have caused. If I let you out and people get hurt because of you, It’s still my fault!” Lydia stood up and began to pace alongside the bench.

“Well it’s not like this matters anyway! If you let me out here, I’ll be stuck with you INSIDE the cemetery! I’ll even do you a solid and try to be as quiet as I can bear to be while you read here! I just want to stretch my legs for fucks sake!” Beetlejuice nearly pulled at his hair.

“FINE.” Lydia snapped and stopped her pacing with a foot stomp. “You have to be quiet and leave me the hell alone for our duration of this visit! No harassing other people that are visiting either! Deal!?”

“DEAL!” Beetlejuice’s voice cracked.

“Beetlejuice! Beetlejuice! Beetlejuice!”


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If Beetlejuice knows one thing, it's how to do his job and get results. He doesn't know much about feelings though... Maybe he ate a bad bug or something.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm in quarantine now!!! So let's see if I can actually FOCUS on finishing the story in a timely manner since we've caught up on chapters. My ability to focus has been shot to hell this past month, so this might be a struggle.

All Lydia wanted was some peace and quiet. She wanted some alone time without any interruptions, no distractions, no uneasy feelings or hair prickling sensations on the back of her neck. Lydia missed her days of perceived solitude. The days before she really knew about Beetlejuice. Back when she was mostly left to her own devices, and most importantly, the peace and quiet.

It was mostly quiet now. Sometimes leaves would scatter and crunch beneath a shoe, gravel would crunch beneath slow meandering steps, and soft hums of content would drift along the tombstones around Lydia. But this silence wasn’t comforting, and it wasn’t even the solitude that Lydia longed for. Just as promised, Beetlejuice left Lydia alone almost as soon as she summoned him. He didn’t even give her a chance to regret their deal before he went off to wander around the cemetery on his own.

The image of his corpse, the smirk on his face, the small salute he shot her before he turned on his heel and stocked off, haunted Lydia. Plus, even as he left her alone, he never wandered too far away. He was always within earshot or eye sight. If Lydia didn’t know any better, she’d suspect that he was worried she’d leave him behind. But no, Lydia knew he stuck just close enough to remain on the forefront of Lydia’s mind.

Despite her best attempts to tune out Beetlejuice, Lydia just couldn’t allow herself to not be so alert to his whereabouts. Like an overly paranoid mother trying to keep an eye on her troublesome toddler, Lydia just couldn’t focus enough to read through her book at her regular pace. She ended up re-reading a paragraph three times because she couldn’t stop glancing over at Beetlejuice as he leaned against a slowly tilting tombstone while smoking.

“That’s rude, fix it.” Lydia finally snapped at the poltergeist. Beetlejuice smirked at her.

“Ol’ Henry don’t care,” He patted the stone condescendingly. “He died of old age, probably already moved on to better pastures.” Lydia glared at Beetlejuice.

“You know, the whole point of me letting you stretch your legs was that you’d distract me LESS.” Lydia hissed. Beetlejuice smirked at her.

“I can’t help it if you can’t keep your eyes off of me.” He sassed her and then straightened up.

Lydia noticed how the tombstone righted itself and let the subject drop. She refrained from saying anything more to him, lest he take it as an invitation to continue distracting her, and turned her eyes back to her book immediately. Unfortunately, Beetlejuice can apparently take anything as an invitation as he appeared on the bench next to her in the next moment.

“So what piece of trash are we contending with today?” He looked at the book in her hands.

“You mean aside from yourself?” Lydia spat back and finally turned the page. Beetlejuice whistled.

“Nice buuurrrnn,” he complimented Lydia dryly. “Does that make you the garbage man?”

“Garbage woman, and no. I’m about to leave you on the curb for someone else to deal with.” Lydia hid her face behind her hair as she struggled to restrain her sneer.

“No you won’t.” Beetlejuice finally leaned back and took a deep breath. He breathed out slowly and let his shoulders relax, his hands settled along the backside of the bench and he stretched out comfortably next to Lydia. “You’d feel bad about sicking me on some poor unsuspecting soul.”

“If you aren’t going to make an actual attempt at being less distracting,” Lydia took a deep breath and tried to restrain the frustration from leaking into her voice. “Then I’m going to de-summon you, and then I’m going to drop you onto the bench and we’ll see what happens to you when you leave your so-called haunting territory.”

“Oh, I already know.” Beetlejuice said quickly.

Lydia paused. Her voice hitched in her throat as she glanced at him. The smirk on his face told her that he thought he was winning this fight too, and he didn’t even give her a chance to say anything.

“I’d be on Saturn.”

Lydia’s mouth gaped and her head tilted as she processed the information.

“Saturn?” She squeaked. If at all possible, his smile grew.

“Yup!”

“Why?”

Beetlejuice shrugged. He tossed his burnt out cigarette and started another one.

“Reasons. Never actually got around to finding that one out, but I’m sure there’s a reason for it. I can only assume it’s a punishment considering all of the damn sandworms there, not to mention, it’s just a god awful vacation spot. It’s the closest to hell they can send us to without actually putting us in hell. A hell of a way to encourage ghosts to stay put if ya ask me!”

Lydia’s mouth hung open throughout the rambling explanation. The soft breeze of the late afternoon and the pages of the book slipping beneath her fingertips drew Lydia’s attention back to her book. She jerkily found her page again and bit her lip.

“You’re still being distracting.” She muttered weakly.

Beetlejuice snorted and rolled his eyes.

“You tellin’ me you don’t want to know more? Because that don’t sound right to my ears.” Beetlejuice knew that Lydia loved to learn, especially when the topics were more on the dark and macabre side.

Magic and superstitions, death and history, all of these things appealed to Lydia in a way that none of her usual school topics ever could. It was quite a shame really that she was forced to waste her time on books that couldn’t even arouse her attention. If it meant that Beetlejuice could lengthen his literal free time by appealing to Lydia’s interests, then he’d be an idiot not to use his own accumulated knowledge to do so.

“I have to finish this for school! I need to get a good grade.” Lydia angrily gestured to the book in her hands.

Beetlejuice finally snatched the book from Lydia’s hands and looked over the cover. It definitely looked like one of those extremely boring christian approved reading books for english class. He sneered at it, but resisted the urge to destroy it.

“What for? School’s a waste of time.”

“I need good grades so that I can get into a good college. It’ll look better on my resume.”

“If you seriously believe that, then you’re easier to scam than I thought.” He let Lydia snatch the book back from his hand. “Every decade or so, they change their minds on what’s important, what employers want, what big wigs are looking for in a henchman.” Beetlejuice rolled his eyes. “Trust me kid, the shit you put on paper can only be so interesting. What’s more telling is what you choose to do with your time, your skills, and personality.” He winked at her. “Why just look at me, I’m possibly the MOST interesting Ghost you’ll EVER meet.”

“Sounds like a bunch of hot air, if you ask me.” Lydia sassed Beetlejuice. She found her page again and fiddled with the flimsy paper. “And even if it’s not all that important in the long run, dad and Delia still expect me to do well in school. They’ll ground me again if my grades get too low, and I prefer to retain the freedoms I have.”

Beetlejuice frowned at her and then wrinkled his nose. He leaned back once more and shook his head almost disappointedly while he looked away from Lydia. Lydia watched him from the corner of her eyes.

“Nobody expects the alleged goody-two-shoes to be a troublemaker, and they pay less attention when they think that they don’t need to. That’s fair, I suppose. I never had much patience to play the part, I think I only managed for about a hundred years before I finally snapped.” He waved a hand at Lydia as he finally turned back. “Fine, be boring.” He pouted.

Lydia giggled at the pitiful expression on his face. It’s not like she has never seen it before, but when Beetlejuice was miniature, his actions and movements certainly didn’t come across as nearly as flamboyant. The size difference really added a whole layer to just how extra Beetlejuice actually is.

“Why don’t I read out loud then? That might help us a little more. Who knows, maybe you’ll like the story and the entertainment will keep you from distracting me.” Lydia suggested.

Beetlejuice tilted his head side to side as he contemplated Lydia’s offer. He stood up and wandered a few steps over and laid down in a sunny patch of grass. A cap suddenly appeared over his eyes as he rested his arms behind his head.

“Fine,” He finally agreed. “But start from the beginning.”

Lydia couldn’t argue with that. It’s not like she was very far in the book anyway, so it wouldn’t take long for her to catch up. But the distance between them was a little odd. Hesitantly, Lydia stood up and walked around Beetlejuice so that she could have a nice spot in the sun as well. She sat over a foot away from him and flipped back to the beginning of the book.

She spent over an hour reading out loud to Beetlejuice. Sometimes he’d make a comment about what she was reading, but usually he just made a sound in response to a stupid line or silly dialogue. Occasionally Beetlejuice would twitch or shift, but ultimately, he refused to move from his spot. The warmth of the sun didn’t last all too long, unfortunately, as the setting sun eventually took their prime sunning spot.

Though Lydia was still able to clearly read the words on the page, she knew that it was only a matter of time before the roads would be dark. Lydia finished up the last of the chapter with this thought weighing heavily on her mind, and when she closed the book, Lydia wondered if she could get away with staying out just to watch the stars. Delia would be cross if Lydia stayed out late though, especially by herself like this.

Beetlejuice stood and brushed the scattered leaves and strands of grass off of his suit while Lydia placed the bookmark and closed her book. Lydia somberly gazed along the tombstones as she thought about how much trouble she’d be in today as soon as she went back into that house.

Once her irritation and frustration died down, Lydia felt so relaxed and at home here in the cemetery. Bitterly, Lydia realized that Beetlejuice was partially to blame for that. Being so annoying on purpose only to turn the conversation to something that would properly distract Lydia. Even the sunbathing, though it was something Lydia typically avoided, had been enjoyable and calming.

“Come on, babe. What are you pouting for?” Beetlejuice stood within Lydia’s line of sight. When she finally looked up at him, he held his hand out to her. Lydia decided to be nice and accepted his help to stand up.

“I’m not pouting.” Lydia refused to look him in the eyes and instead turned to collect her bag and tucked the book away. “I was just thinking about how nice the cemetery had been this evening, once you stopped being annoying.” She tacked the last part on quickly.

Lydia slung the bag over her shoulder and began to walk her bike out of the cemetery. Beetlejuice stuffed his hands in his pockets and trailed alongside her on the opposite side of the bike. Lydia appreciated the physical distance this gave them since she could pretend that the bike represented the wall she wanted to erect between them.

“It was really nice.” Beetlejucie agreed softly.

Lydia tried to remember the last time she had seen such a mellow Beetlejuice, but she realized that every other time was tinged with a different emotion. Mellow from boredom, fizzled frustration, fuming. This was a more content version.

“We could do this more, you know.” Beetlejuice sniffed.

“Yeah, yeah. Your freedom.” Lydia focused on the bike as she made her way between the rows of tombstones. She did her best to tune out the poltergeist that weaved between the stones without a care, meandering just close enough to not lose Lydia. “If you want it so badly, why don’t I just leave you here then?”

A cold hand placed itself over Lydia’s own, forcing the bike and Lydia both to a standstill. Beetlejuice towered over her, a firm and threatening look in his eyes. Lydia shrunk down and away, eyes darting to the cold hand covering hers. The hairs on the back of her neck prickled as the silence raged on between them.

“You leave me here, and I’ll terrorize every soul in this cemetery, living and not.” Beetlejuice leaned down slightly, worming his way back into her bubble. “Weren’t you afraid I’d do something like that?”

“You just seemed to like it here.”

Beetlejuice barked out a laugh and reared his head back. He cut her off before she could continue her explanation.

“BABE. Just because I’m DEAD doesn’t mean that I want to spend all of my free time in a boring ass cemetery! Besides,” He leaned back down. “You wouldn’t be here with me. What’s the point?”

Lydia turned her head away and leaned away from Beetlejuice slightly. She realized belatedly that a flush of warmth had crept onto her cheeks when Beetlejuice refused to back out of her space once more.

“Stop that.” She barked and shot him a glare. She shook her hand and the bike when he refused to let go.

“Come on, babe. You gotta put me back, or else you’re not leaving this place.” Beetlejuice sneered. “Can’t exactly ride bitch seat on your bike like this.” He gestured himself with his free hand.

Lydia glared at Beetlejuice and mumbled his name three times. He disappeared with a pop and Lydia finally settled herself back onto her bike.

“Alrighty then! Let’s go home!” Beetlejuice cheered from her shoulder as Lydia rose through the gate. She grit her teeth and held her tongue since she knew he was just being loud to annoy her.

The ride home had been a quiet one. Lydia tried to pretend as though her focus was entirely on getting them both home safely, but she couldn’t truly distract herself with that task. Her mind kept turning back towards how nice her trip to the cemetery had ended up being, and the utter tragedy that it had to be with Beetlejuice of all people.

Lydia couldn’t lie to herself, Beetlejuice was the closest thing she had to a friend right now, but she knew that he would never actually be her friend. It was all a trick. It had to be. All he wanted was his freedom, and if he had to trick Lydia into thinking he was her friend in order to get just that, well, perhaps on someone else it would work. Lydia knew better.

She wouldn’t give him his freedom thinking that he was actually her friend. The moment she turned her back on him, surely, he’d sink his fangs in. Honestly, that was the only conclusion that could be made from his character. To hope for anything else would be stupid.

Lydia pulled her bike up to the house and settled it back into its usual spot for school tomorrow. As soon as she trudged in through the door, Beetlejuice all but yelled in her ear.

"Race ya to the attic!" And he was gone.

Lydia rolled her eyes and went to the kitchen, pausing just in the doorway as she spotted a morose Delia sitting at the island. Lydia took a deep breath and didn't look at Delia while she went to grab her water.

"You should make sure Dad's blood pressure hasn't gone up today. He's been obsessing over Maxie Dean again." Lydia spoke softly. Delia snorted.

"That sounds about right. I think he's trying to compensate for the party." Delia replied in a tone just as soft as Lydia's.

"I don't get why. But he only listens to you," Lydia took a breath. "I only ever stress him out, so I'm leaving his health up to you." Lydia left the kitchen in a somber mood.

On her way up to the attic, she paused next to the open doorway of Charles' office. He sat with a glass filled with his favorite whiskey, head hung slightly as he read over one of the Maitland's bird books. Lydia wanted to say something, to hug him like she used to when she was a little girl. Run up into his arms after a nice walk with Emily, tell him about whatever she saw or did that day, have him pretend like he actually cared, participate in the conversation like he actually wanted to listen to what Lydia had to say about anything.

He didn’t seem to notice her presence as she watched him for a solid minute. Lydia just stood in the doorway, wishing she could just speak up, be present, be something that he just couldn’t ignore. But ever since Emily’s death, Charles had slowly slipped away. Lydia knew that she looked too much like her mother, she liked that she looked so much like Emily. But Charles didn’t want to think about Emily, didn’t want to remember, didn’t want to see. It’s a shame Emily never stayed as a ghost to haunt them, instead, she left the job up to Lydia instead.

Lydia wanted to move on too. She wanted to pretend that she hadn’t been lonely and alone. Lydia just wanted to continue her days like they used to be, pretend that Emily’s passing hadn’t left a hole in her heart and tarnished all of her memories like flames licking the edges of her favorite photos. But Lydia knew that this wasn’t possible, Charles was a perfect example of this harsh truth.

Ignoring her feelings wasn’t going to fix anything. Ignoring her problems and forcing a fake smile on her face wasn’t going to help her feel true happiness again. All Lydia wanted to do was move on.

Lydia quietly left the doorway and continued her trek up to the attic. Faintly, she heard Charles call out to her, but it was far too late to acknowledge her presence. He didn’t bother to follow after anyway, so there was no point in lingering any longer.

Quietly, Lydia entered the attic once more. She listlessly dropped her bag next to the couch and continued on to the chair she left by the window. Lydia wrenched open the window and plopped herself down in the chair, laying her arm and head along the wood as she gazed listlessly at the sky. She tucked one of her feet beneath her thigh and leaned more into the wood of the window sill.

“Babe, don’t you still got homework to do?” Beetlejuice called from the model.

Beetlejuice would be lying if he said that he didn’t notice the shift in Lydia’s mood after they left the cemetery. He was hoping that by the time she reached the attic, she might be back to normal, or as close to it as a girl like her could get. Lydia certainly took long enough to get there, despite Beetlejuice’s challenge. But it was like the trip to the cemetery sucked out all of her remaining energy, and now she was useless in the entertainment department.

“If you’re looking for my star, you’d be better off just looking at me!” He called once more once he realized that she must be stargazing now that the sky was dark.

Lydia still didn’t respond. She was entirely in her own little world probably, although judging by the expression on her face, she wasn’t thinking about much of anything. Right now, her mind was probably just a swirl of stars and colors, like the Milky Way. It made for a pretty nice picture, to be fair, but Beetlejuice was no photographer, nor did he have the ability to take pictures right now anyway. All he could really do was be loud and annoying.

“BABE. LYDS!” Beetlejuice yelled.

Lydia jerked and sat back up properly. She glanced around the room and settled her eyes on the model.

“Hm? What?” She yawned.

“Didn’t you say that you still have homework to do? Math, if I’m correct?”

Lydia turned to look towards the couch and her bag. She sighed heavily as she contemplated the homework. Beetlejuice scoffed loudly.

“You were being so high and mighty about getting your homework done earlier, you’re just not gonna do it now?”

Beetlejuice didn’t know why he was being so tough on Lydia about her ethics when it came to homework. Hell, it was her insistence that he not bother her earlier that led to him getting free for a few short hours, though he really shouldn’t make any jabs about her being a hypocrite. It was nearly impossible for anyone to go about in the world without being a hypocrite about a few things. “Do as I say, not as I do” is a saying for a reason, after all.

But this Lydia was so jarring, and he couldn’t really place why this was a version of her that made him a little uncomfortable. It’s not as though Lydia wasn’t already a pretty quiet girl. This isn’t the first time she’s sat at the window to stargaze, or had that faraway look in her eyes. But something else resided in those expressions, something that he’s seen from time to time, and those were usually the times he opted to ignore her in favour of something slightly more entertaining.

This wasn’t really an expression he could ignore any longer. And it was painful to look at. Beetlejuice would rather Lydia be yelling at him over her homework than this. Any kind of distraction would be better than this.

“I guess you’re right.” Lydia finally relented and got back up.

Instead of relaxing on the couch, she settled at the desk with her homework. Beetlejuice sat in one of the photos and grimaced as he looked at the pages of equations Lydia was currently contending with. He never had a reason to deal with math before, but as the expression still had yet to leave Lydia’s face, he found himself speaking up without meaning to.

“What the hell are you even doing? This looks like gibberish.” He pointed lazily at the page. Beetlejuice felt some of the weight on his chest lift as the corners or Lydia’s lips lifted slightly.

“Math is supposed to be a kind of language of its own.” Lydia spoke lazily while looking over the notes and checking the equation she just finished. “Though I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to understand it. My teacher says it’s all logical, but my logic and the book’s don’t match up and I don’t know where I’m going wrong.”

“Sounds like a shitty riddle.” Beetlejuice spoke after a long minute of silence. “I know a guy who used to love riddles, he’d annoy all of his buddies and even strangers with it, until one day, some of his friends just lost it.”

“What happened?” Lydia asked while she continued to work out the next problem.

“Well, his buddies were hanging out in a bar, and they started bitching about how they’d wish this guy would shut the fuck up with his riddles. I just so happened to overhear, and offered my services to them. They didn’t believe me of course, and made a bet with me.”

“Did you manage to convince the riddle guy to stop telling so many riddles?” Lydia asked and finally looked up at Beetlejuice.

He paused. Lydia saw the wolfish grin appear on Beetlejuice’s face, and suddenly she wondered if she’d even want to know what he did.

“Please don’t tell me you hurt him. Please tell me that you just gave him a riddle that had no reason or rhyme and it broke him down enough to teach him a lesson.”

Beetlejuice’s mouth twitched, like he was trying to contain a laugh. Lydia covered her eyes and dropped her head as she decided that she really didn’t want to know what he did.

“Let’s just say…. He won’t be speaking again for quite some time.” Beetlejuice inspected his nails as if he didn’t do anything wrong. Hell, by his own standards, which are probably extremely low, he probably didn’t.

“Oh no,” Lydia groaned.

“Let’s just say that I had quite a lot of fun once his friends realized I won the bet.” Beetlejuice finally snickered.

“You’re a MENACE.” Lydia restrained her laugh as best as she could, but it still came out as a wheezing breath. “Hurting people doesn’t need to be the solution to any problem, you realize that, right?”

“In my defense, the guy hurt himself.” Beetlejuice held his hands up. “I can’t help it if my victims hurt themselves during one of my jobs.”

Lydia snorted.

“You’re still considered an accomplice, in most cases.” Lydia rolled her eyes at Beetlejuice. He didn’t seem bothered by it one bit, and Lydia reminded herself to keep him on a tight leash so that he couldn’t even facilitate someone’s injuries.

Somehow Lydia finished up her math homework at a reasonable time and even got some work for her history class finished. Beetlejuice was a little bored, but he quickly found that Lydia didn't mind explaining her work as she went through it. It almost seemed like she had an easier time with math too once she started explaining the process of each equation.

Once she finally called it quits and headed off to bed, Beetlejuice was left alone to enjoy his own kind of peace. It was the kind that he never particularly appreciated. He tried to spy on Charles and Delia, but their boring activities could barely act as a proper distraction for Beetlejuice tonight. Nothing on his television enticed him, the photographs in the windowsill gave him a nice view, but not much else.

Finally, he quietly snuck into Lydia’s mirror to see if she was actually sound asleep, and she was, thankfully. But the soft sound of her breathing in the dead of night was reassuring. It was reassuring in a way that haunted Beetlejuice.

He’d be damned if he ever let himself think about why that was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading! I adore your comments, thoughts, and general exclamations, so don't be afraid to just "!!!!?!?!!?!?! kfsnkjdnse" at me. Stay safe, sane, and as happy as you can manage in your current situations!


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Delia convinces Charles that he needs to try and talk to Lydia more, to be more present in her life. Charles decides to do so by asking her questions about the new friend Lydia allegedly has. Naturally, this conversation backfires on Lydia in a way she never expected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eeeeeyyy chapter eight! This part was really fun to write. Yadda yadda let's get some laughs in!

Delia took a moment to enjoy her cup of coffee whilst she watched Charles gaze out the kitchen window. She didn’t need to ask him what he was thinking about. He was either thinking about how to sell Winter River to Maxie Dean, or trying to shove down upsetting thoughts by thinking about bird watching. Back in New York, he showed some inkling of interest towards birds. On the sidewalk, they weren’t nearly as charming, but strolls through the park always seemed to calm him much more effectively. He liked to watch the birds whenever they sat on benches, and Delia caught him watching strangers who liked to feed the birds.

Now she regretted never taking him to sit and do the same, but maybe she could arrange for a nice garden setup with a few interesting bird feeders? Charles really shouldn’t be spending every day inside this house, even if it’s now modernized and fashionable, there’s really no reason not to go for a walk. There’s no more thick smog, tall buildings, or crowds. Only fresh air and a small boring town.

“Delia,” Charles spoke softly, though he neglected to turn and face Delia. “What are you thinking about?”

Delia smiled softly and put her mug down. She approached Charles and pulled him into a half hug as she looked out the very same window. From here, they had a lovely view of the town, and they could even see Lydia’s school. Perhaps Charles had been thinking about Lydia and her happiness? That was certainly one of the many things that could keep him up at night, if he didn’t drown himself with Liquor or exhaust himself with work.

“It certainly is a lovely time of year, don’t you think? Why, we’re in full summer mode now, and Lydia has only a few weeks left of school for the year. She’ll certainly want to go out more, take more photos, explore the town.” Delia drifted off.

“I don’t know if now is a good time to plan a vacation. We only just got here.” Delia cut Charles off before he could continue and work himself up.

“I wasn’t trying to plan a vacation, Charles. I’m simply saying that Lydia will be home more often. And she did bring up a very good point to me yesterday that got me thinking.”

“Oh, no.” Charles sighed softly and very nearly rolled his head.

“Oh, don’t be like that!” Delia rolled her eyes. “I was simply considering having a few bird feeders set up for you so that you could better enjoy some time outside! Plus, you’ve been in the house so much working that you’ve barely spent or spoken with Lydia. When’s the last time you had a proper conversation with our daughter?”

Charles pouted at Delia.

“I told you, I talked with her last night. She even told me that she made a friend at school.”

“No, you had an argument with her last night. Besides, what do you know of this new friend? Did you even ask what her name was? What does she like? What classes do they have together?”

“Well… no.”

“Then there you go!” Delia shook her hands and finally turned away to grab her coffee. “You NEED to have a proper conversation with Lydia. Show her that you still love her and are invested in her life.”

“But I do and I am!” Charles argued with a childish tone that nearly had Delia roll her eyes. This was a side of Charles that she was GLAD Lydia never had to see. Charles wasn’t just stubborn, but a bit of a brat when he was being forced to face how self involved he could be.

“Well how is she supposed to know that if you don’t actually talk to her?” Delia pinned Charles with an expectant look. Charles sighed heavily.

“Fine, I’ll talk to her when she gets home today.”

“Good,” Delia nodded. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a few calls to make.”

Though Charles didn’t say it this time, he definitely thought “oh, no” once more to himself. Hopefully, whatever it is that she’s planning now, Delia won’t go overboard.

  
  
  


Lydia slowly pushed her bike up the hill with a small smile on her face. The short stop at the library had been successful, and tomorrow she would sneak in another short visit to continue her research. There was no real reason as to why she was trying to keep this research secret from Beetlejuice, other than she just didn’t want to hear him gloating or give him a reason to be obnoxious. But his declaration that ghosts go to Saturn and admission that he didn’t really know why was quite a curious one.

Even if the answers she found weren’t actually right, the historical and mythological content in relation to Saturn could possibly give some insight. Until Beetlejuice had a better answer to explain the phenomenon, this would have to suffice. Besides, sometimes it was nice to learn something new. 

Lydia left her bike next to the front porch and climbed up the steps. Silently, she hoped that she might be able to sneak in a snack before she did anything else, but Charles was already sitting at the island while he ate a sandwich. His eyes brightened and he swallowed down his food before he greeted Lydia.

“You’re back early!”

Lydia didn’t have the heart to tell him that this was actually pretty late for her.

“How was school today? Would you like a snack? I was thinking of breaking out the cookies while Delia’s distracted.” Charles quickly stood up and rifled through a tall cabinet for his secret stash of cookies. When he saw that Lydia had yet to sit down he gestured to a chair. “Come on, sit with your old man for a minute.”

Hesitantly, Lydia set her bag down and settled down in the chair with the best exit route. Charles was never this chatty, and he never took his late lunches in the kitchen. As far as Lydia could tell, Charles was waiting for her because he wanted to talk to her about something. Lydia dreaded what it might be.

“How was school today?” Charles asked again as he passed Lydia the package of cookies and a small cup of milk to go with them.

“It was fine.” Lydia said slowly. She pulled a cookie out and dunked it in the milk briefly before she began to eat it.

“Fine? I hated school when I was your age, though, of course, I wasn’t exactly a popular boy. For some reason, Emily still-” Charles paused and let out a grimace before switching the subject. “I wasn’t popular, but I still had a few good friends. Have you made any other friends yet?”

“No,” Lydia would have preferred it if Charles had decided to continue speaking about Emily and his highschool years over this. Heck, it would have been better if he’d at least get to the point of this conversation.

Lydia’s own mounting impatience was more related to Beetlejuice’s own, and her growing fear that Beetlejuice might show up to overhear this conversation. Having Beetlejuice show up to chatter away about any old inane story whilst Lydia sat through a boring dinner was one thing, but him yammering on while Charles was trying to have an important conversation with her was another entirely. Of course, this was exactly when Beetlejuice decided to show up.

“I haven’t made any new friends at school yet.” She said right as he appeared in the reflection of the toaster.

“Babe, what’s takin ya so long? I’m bored to DEATH over here! Oh?”

“Well, that’s quite alright. Slow forged friends can be better, plus you at least have the one for now.” Charles nodded and snagged a cookie for himself. “I was just worried you’d be facing the summer vacation without anyone to hang out with.”

“Oh, yeah.” Lydia said slowly.

“Bah, you wouldn’t be alone anyway, you’ve got me now!” Beetlejuice smirked and crossed his arms.

“So tell me about your new friend!” Charles egged Lydia on when she neglected to start talking about the friend she mentioned yesterday. Lydia stuttered as Beetlejuice’s own interest was finally stirred.

“Oh yeah! Come on Lyds, tell us about the newbie! I bet they’re not as interesting as me.”

“Well…” Lydia struggled to start.

“What’s her name?” Charles started.

“H-her name is…” Lydia stared down at the cookies.

“Still don’t know her name?” Beetlejuice snorted. “She’s already lame.”

“That’s ok, I was friends with a guy in college for two months before I actually learned his name. What classes do you have her in?”

“Well, um…” Lydia struggled to focus on creating a believable lie. “We have…”

Charles waited patiently, Lydia could already see the concerned expression growing on his face.

“Did you run into her in-between classes? Is she not in your grade?”

“Actually, um.” Lydia’s eyes flickered between the cookies, Charles, and Beetlejuice.

“Ooohhh, older female friends! I bet you she’s got a hookup! Good job Lyds!” Beetlejuice crowed.

“I don’t. No. Um.”

“Lydia,” Charles started softly. Lydia refused to look anyone in the eye. “Does she even go to school with you?”

“I lied! Ok?” Lydia clenched her teeth as she realized that tears were forming in her eyes. “I didn’t make any new friends at school! I just didn’t want you to worry about me anymore!” Lydia stood abruptly and stormed out of the kitchen and to her room. She didn’t even get the chance to think about changing out of her uniform before Beetlejuice appeared in her vanity’s mirror.

He just sat there silently watching her as she threw her bag down onto her bed. Angrily, Lydia untied her tie and removed her sweater. She paced back and forth in her room mindlessly, trying to decide on what to change into without actually thinking about it. Instead, her mind raced with embarrassment that she couldn’t even keep it together. By all means, she should have been easily able to make up some fake person. Really, she should have already crafted a fake person. But she totally forgot about that lie, and with Beetlejuice watching, she couldn’t even use minor details about him to create a fake person without him figuring it out.

“Shut up,” Lydia hissed at Beetlejuice even though he had yet to speak up, surprisingly.

“Didn’t say nothin.”

“No, but you’re thinking it!” Lydia snapped and stood behind the chair, facing Beetlejuice as he lounged lazily.

“What am I thinking?” Beetlejuice asked dryly as he checked his nails.

“I totally messed that up! It should have been an easy lie, I could have even used you as inspiration!”

“I was actually thinking about the last time I banged Anthoinette. Far too long. But you’re right. You did fuck it up. Why DIDN’T you use me? Her name is Bee. She’s got dirty blonde hair and a rockin body! Super boisterous, a little annoying, but fuckin AMAZING at everything!” Beetlejuice ticked off character traits. “She’s in life sciences with you, is that even a class anymore? I forget. Drives a beetle. WAY OLDER than you. Need I go on?”

Lydia groaned and sat herself down in her chair.

“I didn’t want you getting a big head over it. Plus, you wouldn’t shut up and give me a chance to actually respond.” Lydia explained weakly.

“Whaaattt? I was excited.” Beetlejuice shrugged. “So, tell me about your friend!” Beetlejuice got comfy in his chair and smirked at Lydia. Lydia glared at him.

“I told you guys, I DON’T have a new friend.” Beetlejuice scoffed.

“Oh, you totally do. And you specified that you don’t have a new friend, AT SCHOOL. So you made a friend with someone outside of school. Oooohhh, was it a boy? You go to an all girls school - is the reason why you DON’T want to talk about them is because it’s a boy? Do you have a crush on him? You TOTALLY have CRUSH!” Beetlejuice only got more and more excited as he tried to crack the code on Lydia’s secret. Lydia’s angry blush grew as her glare hardened.

“I. DON’T. HAVE. A. NEW. FRIEND. I DON’T HAVE A CRUSH.” She stated calmly and firmly. Beetlejuice smirked at her and shrugged.

“That’s ok. You’ve still got me.” Lydia’s eye twitched.

“You’re not my friend.” She pointed out dryly. Beetlejuice cackled and leaned so far back in his chair that, by all means, he should have fallen out of it.

“THAT’S. HURTFUL!” Beetlejuice said in between laughs with a voracious smile on his face.

Lydia groaned into her hands in defeat. Did Beetlejuice actually know the truth that she thought of him as a friend now, or was he just antagonizing her for fun?

  
  
  


Charles sat silently on the edge of their bed, pondering the conversation he and Lydia had earlier. Neither he, nor Delia, decided to bring up the subject to her again that evening. She already had so many outbursts in the past week, she was probably so stressed out and frazzled by the past few months. They really didn’t want to break her down any further, lest her mental health take a sudden left turn like Charles and Delia feared it could.

Teenagers were always so difficult. Lydia only got harder to handle as she grew older. If only she weren’t so stubborn like Charles, if only she weren’t so much like Emily. If. If. If.

“So you never told me what you both talked about.” Delia finally spoke up after she finished removing her makeup and earrings for the night. “What did you find out about her friend?”

“Nothing.” Charles spoke sullenly. “She said that she lied, and that she didn’t actually make a new friend at school.” Charles paused before turning to face Delia. “What if she’s still being bullied?” Delia pursed her lips.

“Were those her exact words? How did your conversation even go?” Delia sat next to Charles on the bed and held his hand.

“Well,” Charles thought for a moment and then shrugged. “I just asked her some pretty basic questions. Name, class they have together, etc. But she couldn’t answer a single one. I thought maybe it was an older student she met in the halls. But then I realized that this might not even be a girl she met at school. Lydia gave up and confessed to me and ran off before we could speak any more.”

Delia nodded throughout Charles’ tale. She looked deep in thought, considering heavily what Charles was telling her, before she spoke up once more.

“We live in a small town with tons of friendly people, I wouldn’t have been surprised if she had made friends with some stranger. But even then, Lydia never shied away from telling us about the strangers she’s met in New York. Why would she feel the need to lie now?”

“She said that she didn’t want us to worry about her not having any friends.”

“No, not that.” Delia nearly snapped. “She was specific. At school. She didn’t make any friends at school. If she had made friends with someone in town, she would have told us about it. Which means that this is either a person she knows we won’t approve of or….” Delia smiled and gasped.

“Or what?” Charles nearly jumped to his feet in shock, but Delia held him down as she got to her feet instead. “Or what?”

“OR she met a BOY.” Charles paled and was now glad that he remained seated. “She met a boy, and she must like him enough to want to keep him a secret from us. After all, she goes to an all girl school, so she wouldn’t have met any boys there. Oh Charles, our Lydia MUST have a crush!”

“I don’t think that’s it… She’s never been interested in boys before.” Charles felt his mouth go dry, and he seriously wished that he had something strong to sip on right about now.

Delia let out a quiet contained squeal. She covered her mouth and then hardened her shoulders.

“Of course not, but Charles, our little girl is growing up! It was only a matter of time! You do know what this means though.”

“No?” Charles winced as Delia firmly gave her next declaration.

“Why, it’s time we gave Lydia the Talk!”

“I don’t know…”

“Fine,” Delia restrained an eye roll as she sat back down next to Charles. She pulled him into a side hug, knowing that this was probably just as difficult for him as it was for Lydia right now. “I will give her the talk. Why, I should make an occasion out of it! Something that will really help Lydia in her transition.”

Delia leapt back to her feet and began to pace the room as she thought out loud. Charles groaned loudly and fell backwards into his bed. As grateful as he was to have someone like her in his life to help with these difficult changes, he really couldn’t help but dread how his life would soon change.

“Oh, we should go get manicures! That’ll be delightful and fun for the both of us! Oh and maybe it’s time we got her some proper grown up clothes! She’ll be so embarrassed, but it’s necessary!”

Charles groaned loudly, this time to get Delia’s attention. She paused in her rambles and laughed before she jumped onto the bed next to Charles and peppered his face with kisses. Charles flushed and groaned once more. At least there was no one around to see this, otherwise, Delia would never act like this.

“I’m sorry honey! I’m just so excited! I can’t help but to remember what it was like for me when I was her age. You know, I didn’t exactly get a lot of help from my mother in these matters. I just had my friends, and they knew about as much as I did!” Delia giggled and curled up next to Charles happily. He sighed with relief when he realized that she was finally settling down for bed and pulled her into a comfortable side hug.

“I get that you’re excited, but it’s getting late. You can spend all day tomorrow planning if you’d like. But maybe let’s give Lydia a day or two before you try to scar her for life.” Delia slapped Charles’ shoulder playfully.

“Oh don’t be so dramatic.”

  
  
  


Tuesday night, Lydia couldn’t help but to feel just a little uneasy. Both Charles and Delia were acting so strangely. Charles seemed so twitchy around her, perhaps she really upset him with her little outburst yesterday. Lydia kind of wanted to apologize to him about it, but Delia was so chipper and was bustling around like a busybody. She was clearly up to something. Lydia didn’t even need to hear Delia’s declaration of the evening to know that something was most definitely up.

“Lydia, this weekend, we’re all going to the city to have some fun. I figured we’d have our nails done, so try to think about what you’d like, so long as it’s appropriate for school!” Lydia wondered what the catch was. “I figured you and I would get some clothes shopping done too,” Delia winked at her. “I realized that it’s been a while since we picked up some essential supplies, plus your ribbons are so cute! I thought we might expand your collection.”

“Oh… ok.” Lydia said slowly as she tried to decipher Delia’s declaration for a motive.

“That is, if you don’t already have plans this weekend.” Charles butted in quietly. He seemed so nervous just saying that, he could barely look Lydia in the eyes.

“Um, no. Just homework.” Lydia tried to take another bite of her food, but she saw the look Delia and Charles shared with one another. “Can I ask… what the occasion is for?” Lydia finally asked hesitantly. She’d be waiting for about three days if she didn’t get them to tell her now.

“Oh, don’t worry about it honey, it’s nothing.” Delia squeaked.

Beetlejuice, whom for some reason, had been watching quietly from the toaster, finally let out a quiet snicker. Lydia refrained from shooting him a glare. He seriously couldn’t leave her alone long enough to have one quiet family dinner?

“That ain’t nothin, Lyds.” Beetlejuice somehow managed to speak while still laughing to himself.

“No, really. You’re acting weird…” Lydia put her fork and knife down carefully, eyeing Delia and Charles the entire time. “It’s freaking me out a little.”

“Is that seriously what scares you?” Beetlejuice grumbled humorously.

“I’m not acting weird, am I acting weird Charles?” Delia turned to Charles with a restrained smile. Charles appeared confused for a moment before he finally shook his head. “See? I just thought that since you are getting older, that it might be time to do some more adult things together. Besides, you might really like having your nails done, it’d be a great way to add to your aesthetic!” Delia explained.

Lydia furrowed her brows, knowing that Delia and Charles were definitely keeping something from her, but decided to relent for now. Besides, she couldn’t really hold a proper conversation with them when Beetlejuice continued to snicker in his weird little corner.

Once Lydia finally managed to retreat to her preferred corner for the evening, she found that she didn’t have to wait very long to hear whatever it was Beetlejuice had to say.

“You’re. Fucked.” Beetlejuice cackled as he hopped into his favorite photo at Lydia’s work desk.

“So helpful, much explanation, wow.” Lydia retorted dryly.

“Isn’t that a meme?”

“What do you know about memes?”

“I know that one’s been dead for AGES.” Lydia rolled her eyes.

“What’s so funny anyway?” Beetlejuice shook his head. “Come on, share with the class.” Lydia tapped her pen impatiently. “Don’t get weird on me too, not like that, at least.”

“Oh come on, use your BIG. GIRL. Brain.” Beetlejuice used his fingers to make air quotes.

“I still don’t get what’s so funny.” Beetlejuice sighed dramatically and rolled his eyes.

“She wants to do Adult stuff with you. Wants to get your nails did so nice and fancy~” Beetlejuice held out his hand and Lydia did a double-take at the weird feminine voice that came out of his mouth instead of his own. The fact that his dirty grimy nails were now sharp with a blood-red nail polish was also a little disturbing.

“Was that supposed to be a New Yorker’s accent? It was terrible.”

“And I don’t NEED to be an ancient ghost to know that she was talking about buying you fancy new mature panties.” Beetlejuice checked his nails and hmmed at them. “I think I like this color.”

“Yeah?” Lydia grimaced at the image of Beetlejuice walking around with red nailpolish on his grubby nails all day. It’s probably look nice if he didn’t destroy his nails on the daily. “I still don’t see how any of that is funny.”

“Fine, see if I care. You’ll figure it out eventually.” Lydia groaned and threw her pen down.

“I still don’t see what you could possibly find so funny. Daddy is still acting weird around me and Delia’s acting like she’s about to throw a party.”

“Do you remember what we talked about last night?” Beetlejuice crossed his arms and shot Lydia an unimpressed look. “Ten years off your life that Delia came to the same exact conclusion that I did.”

Lydia held her head in her hands as she thought through the information presented to her. Apparently, everything seemed to add up to her now as she finally looked back up to Beetlejuice. Beetlejuice was considerably easier to handle when he thought Lydia had a crush on a boy, Delia was a completely different kind of beast though.

“I’m. Fucked.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll be honest with you guys. I'm really struggling to write the next chapter so either next month's update is going to be a very short chapter OR I might skip a month to take a break. I've just not been doing great mentally again and I have like no energy to do almost anything :/ but we'll see.
> 
> Anyway, thanks for reading and hopefully we'll see another chapter in a month!


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